If you tuned into UFC Fight Night this past weekend you saw a very lopsided fight in Robbie Lawler vs Neil Magny.
30-27 across the board which is on the low end of “lopsided fights”
Let’s take a look at another lopsided fight.
T.J. Dillashaw vs Walel Watson (UFC On Fuel TV Sanchez vs Ellenberger)
Yeah that’s right before T.J. Dillashaw was cracking heads as the 135 champ (and getting busted for PED’s) he was throwing around journeymen like they owed him money. For the uninformed a 30-25 means every round was scored a 10-8 and TJ was on the brink of murdering Walel. But still not the most lopsided fight you’ll see on the internet. That title belongs to…..
Chavy vs Stevie Stats (Branded Sports)
The latest and greatest in a line of one sided beatings Chavy vs Stats. This fight has a ref that is letting Stevie “be a warrior” when in reality this fight should’ve been called a long time ago.
I forget how this even started but I know I wrote a blog about how Stevie Stats is on the hot seat (LINK)
If memory serves me right Stevie called me “the worst” and I decided to do a tactical assignation of his online persona to show the Branders I am not someone that you want to come at. Now I’ll admit someday I will meet someone bigger, badder and funnier on the internet than me. Stevie Stats is not that person.
After that blog I thought the fight was over. I thought I’d coast to a cool 30-27 win because Stevie’s corner would throw the towel in between rounds like the good cornermen they should be.
But much to Stevie’s credit he came out for round 2 and stood toe to toe in the blogging octagon.
So as much as it pained me I came back out and thoroughly outclassed him yet again. This time it was during a “King of the Hill Branded Sports Edition” blog (LINK)
After releasing this blog the bell signaled the end of the round and we went back to our respective corners. If Stevie’s cornermen truly cared about him they’d throw in the towel for his sake. But it appears they don’t or he’s just full of Texas piss and vinegar and refuses to listen to them. So they cut open the mouse under his swollen eye and send him out to the slaughter for round 3.
Which brings us to tonight. About 25 minutes ago Stevie released a blog which was a parody of the King of The Hill blog (they say imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery so thanks Stevie!). In it Stevie told the Branders which blogger is which board game. I wrote my original blog in about 20 minutes, Stevie probably spent maybe 2-3 hours typing and then backspacing, typing and then backspacing, typing and then backspacing, and well you get the idea. The man furiously typed away on his laptop and came up with this all time zinger.
I could go on about how I’ve actually gone up on stage and been paid to tell jokes, making people laugh throughout my set while simultaneously keeping control of the room. I could say if the roles were reversed Stevie would be asking the host for the light while nervously trying to recite his favorite Tom Segura bit to an empty bar in bumfuck Texas but I won’t do that. I could embed the countless amount of tweets where I 10-8’d Stevie, but I won’t do that.
Instead I’ll just do what I should’ve done a long time ago and end this. So Stevie
I’m sorry.
Lawler fight stat image via Reddit (LINK)