Okay, so it’s Friday, which means it’s Fried-ay, which means it’s time to split open my brain and leake genius juice all over my Macbook pro keyboard. For those unfamiliar with Fried-ay, it’s a running […]
Author: Joey Boats
This Chip Off Tournament Will Rue The Day…
Good morning… It is currently 2:45AM eastern time as I lounge delicately in my 2014 Ford Fiesta hatchback (“The Silver Sex Machine”). For those keeping score at home, the US government has identified my contributions […]
Are The Celtics The Worst Team In The Eastern Conference?
Okay, so it’s Thursday and the NBA season is officially upon us. Last night, the basketball Gods blessed us with the first Celtics game of the season, which coincidentally was also the first game against […]
El Camino: Just A Resounding “Ehh”…
Okay, so it’s Friday and I just watched El Camino. It’s been out over a week but, as always, I elect to give people time to watch it before I start hammering away at my […]
Joker: Finally, A Movie Not Afraid To “Go There”…
Okay, so it’s Thursday and yesterday marked my second viewing of Joker. For the record, I always elect to wait 3-5 days after the release of a movie for a review because, quite frankly, most […]
Peanut Butter Falcon: Good, But No Second Gear…
Okay, so it’s Friday and it’s been a long time coming since my last movie review. I have since talked about Charlie and The Chocolate Factory being the worst movie of all time and how […]
I May Adopt The Climate Change Chick…
Disclaimer: I’m ruthlessly honest so I’ll be the first to say this blog sucks. I’m getting back on the blogwagon so consider this a “pitch count” sort of game. Have to get my toes wet […]
I Need Everyone To Join Me…
Okay, indulge me… As I type, it’s currently 3 AM and I’m stranded in a dimly lit office building at the tail end of what will ultimately be an 18-hour shift. Yesterday morning, I was […]
If One of Antonio Brown’s Accusers Wins Her Suit, She’s No Longer A Victim…
Alright, so it’s Thursday, which can only mean one thing: we’re on the verge of yet another barnburner Thursday Night Football matchup between Gardiner Minshew/the Jags’ high-powered aerial assault and, well, the Titans. History proves […]
Releasing Antonio Brown Would Send The WRONG Message…
Okay, so it’s Thursday and things have gotten increasingly New England in New England. For those of you living in bomb shelters, the Antonio Brown/Patriots era hasn’t really got off to the best start. A […]
Patriots Fans Are Hypocrites…
Okay, so it’s Tuesday and we are officially 2-3 days removed from one of the most shocking, Boston sports-related Schefter bombs I’ve ever read. As of today, Antonio “The Clown” Brown is a New England […]
I’m Only Looking For ONE Thing Tonight…
Okay, so it’s Thursday, but not just any Thursday. This Thursday marks the end of my seemingly perpetual suicide watch. This Thursday marks the start of the NFL season, where dreams become reality and everyone […]
8 Guys You Saw At Your Fantasy Football Draft…
Alright, so last Saturday was my annual fantasy football draft. Like most degenerates, I’m in a couple more leagues as well as a season-long pick’ em pool, but this is the big one. This is […]
The Valuable Lesson We Can Learn From Andrew Luck’s Retirement…
Okay, so unless you’ve been enhaling canned yams in some bomb shelter, you’ve probably heard Andrew Luck retired on Saturday… It was arguably the most shocking retirement announcement since Barry Sanders, so naturally, the Internet […]
Introducing The New Face Of Clemson Football…
Okay, so it’s Tuesday and I’m jacked up because, over the weekend, I basically won an all expense-paid trip to the Peach Bowl. Evidently, the higher ups at Branded teamed up with the great and […]