GetBranded
For those who have been following my blogs over the years, you know that there are two annual holiday blogs I write every year: One is about the annual Yankee … Continue Reading I Will Dominate Yet ANOTHER Egg Hunt This Sunday…
Okay, so this is going to be the biggest stretch of all time but I’m reaching for things to blog about today and I have nothing. Normally, pressure makes diamonds; … Continue Reading Top 10 Movie Villains All Time… (10-7)
So it’s Tuesday, which is a great thing because, as I always point out, Tuesday means that movies are only $5 at my local theater. In other words, I can … Continue Reading Are We Really Not Rooting For Thanos In Endgame…?
GUYS, GUYS, GUYS!!! It’s currently Sunday, April 14th—a day that will be remembered forever as the day Tiger Woods obtained what nearly every talking head, radio personality, dickhead blogger, group … Continue Reading GUYS… IT HAPPENED!!!!!!
So, as most of you know, Branded is one of the last bastions of “columnistic” integrity on the Internet. And as the Internet’s White Knight, I exist to give you … Continue Reading Is Tiger Woods Actually Britney Spears…?
So as I write this, it’s the opening round of The Masters and, as we all know, Tiger’s fucking back. I’ve come to realize I’m probably in the 1% of … Continue Reading What’s The Best Sport To Watch on TV?
Alright, so I often choose to write blogs on social etiquette but I’m about to address something I’d presume at least 75% of you will immediately consider taboo. Last weekend, … Continue Reading What’s The Call On Eating A Table’s Leftover Food?
So it’s been a few days since I’ve thrown up a blog but, as everyone knows, life is about overcoming obstacles. It’s about spitting adversity in the face. It’s about … Continue Reading Shazam!: Don’t Let DC Get Hot…
For those who’ve been living under a bomb shelter, a sequel to Space Jam is apparently set to release in 2021 starring Instagram/basketball legend LeBron James… Given the resounding commercial/critical … Continue Reading I Wrote A Plot For Space Jam 2…
So we’re 24-48 hours removed from the best day of the week: “Super Tuesday,” where every movie at my local cinema is $5, as opposed to the $40 movie theaters … Continue Reading Dumbo: Idk Dude, It Was Dumbo…
(Editor’s note: prepping for the live stream event. Missed this Joey. Insert “my bad” gif) Alright, so today is Friday and there isn’t much going on in my world of … Continue Reading People Ripping On Bread Sliced Bagels Are MORONS…
So, two nights ago I saw Us in theaters. I wanted to blog it yesterday but I needed to address a few other time sensitive issues, the most prominent being … Continue Reading Us: Heavily Flawed But Worth Every Penny…
Alright, so yesterday the NFL declared a new rule to be implemented next season that would allow NFL head coaches to challenge calls/non-calls as they relate to pass interference and … Continue Reading This New PI Rule Will Be An Absolute DISASTER…
So it’s currently Wednesday, but even more importantly, it’s National Joe Day—the one day a year where Joes can roam free across the rolling pastures and sniff daisies with the … Continue Reading THE STORY OF “NATIONAL JOE DAY”…
So it’s Monday,( Editor’s note: Joey wrote this yesterday and forgot to schedule it.) and after an entire weekend of college basketball chaos, I’m a little sluggish. After four days … Continue Reading It’s Finally Settled In…
Okay, so the only thing anyone has been talking about over the last couple days has been March Madness. In the words of the youth, this tournament has been “Swag … Continue Reading I’m Free Soloing El Capitan By The End Of The Year…