This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. Mr. Potato Head is no longer allowed to be referred to as Mr? I assume Mrs. Potato Head is also just ‘Potato Head.’ Is this an SNL […]
Author: Branded Patriot
You Guys See My Wife On The News Today?
I fucking love this broad. She’s the apple pie of my eye and dunkies in my veins. She’s a queen’s queen. How Dunken Donuts hasn’t called us looking for a life time sponsorship deal is […]
David Andrews Throwing Shade At Some Old Guy Named Tom Brady
Some of you might have heard that the Patriots are all the way back. Cam Newton came out yesterday and won over the hearts of America. The run to 7 is officially on. And down […]
Does Anyone Have More Fun At Practice Than Cam Newton?
The short answer is no. Guy shows up to practice and starts busting out dance moves before he gets his pads on. Screw backup quarterback. Cam should have been signed simply to boost team morale. […]
Tom Brady Gets The Best Of The Eagles
First off, eat a dick Twitter. They have suspended my account and are refusing to respond to my communications. About to drive to San Fran and punch Jack right in the throat. Please tweet out […]
Another Patriot Player Has Opted Out And Everything Is Falling Apart
Patriots safety Patrick Chung tells me that he plans to opt out of the 2020 season. He is the sixth Patriots player to do so. — Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) July 28, 2020 What the fuck […]
According To Chris Simms, The Patriots Might Be Spying On Cam Newton
So apparently Chris Simms has his own podcast. I had no idea but I guess I should have known he would. We’re back baby! New #AskMeAnything pod with @FareedNBCS is up. -Cam Newton to Pats […]
Antonio Brown Back On His BS With His Recent Post
Antonio Brown just uploaded a picture of him in his Patriots uniform. If the Patriots re-sign him….that'll be the best "SMD" to Tom Brady ever. We'll seeeeeeee 👀👀👀 (Probably not, though) pic.twitter.com/J0nSqnJG1Y — Tommy Keavy […]
Julian Edelman And Danny Amendola’s Bromance Is A Thing Of Beauty
The buds are back in action @dannyamendola 🐿🦊 #NERFpartner 🔫 pic.twitter.com/3rthqYTtft — Julian Edelman (@Edelman11) July 2, 2020 This is that 2016 wholesome content we need back in our lives. 2020 has bent us all […]
Cam Newton’s Not-Agent Richard Sherman, Is Upset With His Deal. Wait What?
TMZ: “Richard Sherman says Cam Newton‘s new Patriots contract is both “ridiculous” and “disgusting” … and he’s now going after the NFL for allowing it to happen. “How many former League MVPs have had to sign for […]
Would The Patriots Actually Consider Signing Colin Kaepernick?
MassLive: “Massachusetts Rep. Joe Kennedy III encouraged the NFL to apologize to Colin Kaepernick in a Twitter message Tuesday. He also wrote that he wants the New England Patriots to sign the QB. Kaepernick, the […]
Madden Simulation Calls Bill Belichick A Bitch
Yo Madden? Who the fuck you think you are dude? 0-4 to start the season? Get out of here you nerd boy computer system. And The Bucs 4-0? You’re out of your mind. Bill has […]
This Stat Says One Thing. The Patriots Don’t Need Brady
Teams with the highest win pct in the NFL since Tom Brady's first start in Week 3, 2001: 1. @Patriots With Brady .7742. Patriots Without Brady .6843. @steelers .6504. @packers .6195. @Colts .613 https://t.co/2cHY2lJzTq — […]
The Patriots Next Quarterback Is On His Way
And just like that, with the release of Andy Dalton, $17.7 million comes off the Bengals’ salary cap. https://t.co/oQ69H6Uyou — Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) April 30, 2020 Praise the true Ginger Jesus. Get the Red Rocket […]
Brady Says He Knew Last Year Was His Last In New England
Tom Brady told @HowardStern that he went into this past season thinking it likely would his last season in New England. — Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) April 8, 2020 Guess forever a Patriot was never really […]