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We’re back with another edition of Florida or China? America’s favorite game show where we test the limits of two of the world’s biggest wastelands.
Today’s headline is “Teacher suspended for washing out student’s mouth with hand sanitizer”. Let’s break this story down.
SOURCE – A middle school teacher has been suspended after school district officials found she used hand sanitizer to wash out the mouth of a student who she thought was talking too loud in her class.
The school board approved a 10-day suspension without pay Wednesday for [the teacher]. She remains on an alternative assignment as she appeals the suspension.
I never knew we updated our Mouthwashing Power Rankings from Soap to now Hand Sanitizer. There was nothing worse than getting your mouth washed out with soap as a kid. Did your parents ever switch to pepper or hot sauce to wash it out? Those sucked too, but at least they had a taste pallet. With soap you could just feel the film of a nice stick of Dial on your tongue for days. Everything you ate for the next week tasted like Dove body wash.
Hand sanitizer though? This kid needed to be the worst kid in the world to sit him under a hand sanitizer holder and make him chug it like he was at a frat party. I mean could you not have just sent him down to the Principal’s office? I feel like that would’ve solved the loudness issue real quick.
Listen, kids are assholes. I never thought when I got older I would side with teachers until my friends became teachers. Every teacher has horror stories that makes me happy I get to comfortably sit in a cube and not have shit thrown at me or don’t have to break up fights. One of my teacher friends even has a rule at their school tha the teacher can only bring TV’s in for movie day if there is ’cause’. Wtf is cause? I’m hungover and I’m grossly underpaid to babysit these little shits. I think that justifies cause in my book. When you’re older too, you start to realize that a lot of times the teacher had a movie on or forced us to do silent reading because they had one to many margaritas during Tex-Mex Happy Hour with Mrs. Fisher and Ms. Reynolds. She needs silence and as little of linoleum artificial light as possible.
Alright! I’ve taken enough of your time. With that being said, it’s the time everyone’s been waiting for. Is it Florida? Or is it China!? Envelope Please.
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And the winner is….
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Survey says!
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Florida!
Thanks for playing another round of “Florida or China?” Signing off for now, but remember to send in your stories for the next edition of “Florida or China?” to kyle@brandedsports.com.