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If You Don’t Think Somewhere Kris Jenner Is Doing The Birdman Hand Rubbing Gif. Well We Do The Internet Differently

kylep1234

birdman

 

You think Kris Jenner was going to just sit back in quarantine and let the Coronavirus dominate headlines? The Coronavirus is going to have to wake up way earlier in the morning to get one by Kris. The Coronavirus Devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder. I’m stunned she hasn’t tried to trademark Koronavirus yet. If you don’t think Kendall’s first kid is coming out named Koronavirus then you haven’t been paying attention to Kris Jenner. She forced her husband of 30 years to get a sex change for a ratings grasp. She has more picot than Kevin McHale. With grandchildren like Stormi, Saint, Psalm, Dream, North, Reign, and True. Koronavirus, Kory for short, will just roll right off the tongue. Gotta keep that empire chugging come hell or high water.

That’s why there is no doubt Kris Jenner leaked the un-edited version of the Kanye and Taylor Swift phone five years later. She needed to take back the headlines. It’s been two weeks. Coronavirus this. Coronavirus that. She probably thought Coronavirus was a new TikTok’er taking the country by storm. You don’t threaten the empire of TV, lip kits, and spanx and get off that easy. That’s why we “mysteriously” had the whole un-edited call leaked out of nowhere.

If you’ve got 25 minutes here’s the full call.

 

 

Listen, did I want to crawl out of my skin during the whole conversation? Yea it was uncomfortable. Every time Kanye was about to say the line he diverted the conversation. But come on. We’re not canceling Kanye or Kim. They’re un-cancellable. They’ve done to much for the country. Apart of too many memories good and bad. Kim Kardashian’s sex tape turned little Kyle into a man. Kanye’s College Dropout opened my ears to music I never knew could be produced. As long as he promises to never release a Gospel album again I’ll forgive Kanye for anything. Do we not forget what happened right before he dropped “Ye”?

 

Screen Shot 2020-03-24 at 11.54.04 AM

 

If a black guy with a signed MAGA hat who professes his love for the most polarizing figure in the world, who also happens to run the most powerful country in the world isn’t canceled. Then I don’t know what to tell you. Good luck finding something that takes down the Kardashian Army.

I’m #TeamKanyeKim on this one. They have one job and one job only. Stay relevant. Even in the midst of a fucking global pandemic we’re talking about them. They’re basically headline 1B right now next to the Coronavirus (1A) and Exotic Joe at 1C. You can’t kill the Kardashians until you cut off the head of the snake (not talking Bruce’s dick). Kris Kardashian is Thanos and all her minions are the Infinity Stones. She snaps her fingers and poof Taylor Swift could be dead by sundown. Just lily white powder floating in the breeze.

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