You Can’t Let Someone Wearing A Ski Mask In 7on7 ‘Moss’ You And Then Sign Your Jersey


Talk about complete and utter emasculation by The Mask right here. First, he absolutely Moss’d poor #1.


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I mean come on #1 I know we’re not the most elusive or quickest race, but one stutter step and a cut outside shouldn’t send you flying out of the frame. Have some respect for yourself. 7on7 is basically more athletic flag football. The Cutters you have on could probably pay for 5 league fees. Maybe spend a little less time conditioning that pony tail and more time conditioning those legs for the 4th quarter.

Second, where’d this guy get his sharpie? Cause it looks like he taped it to his abdomen. Regardless, you can’t let someone sign the back of your jersey without revenge. You may need to take that ski mask and choke him out with it. That’s probably the bare minimum. I’ve been on the other end of these situations before and the PTSD doesn’t randomly end one day. I never let anyone autograph me, but playing basketball at Lansdale Catholic in the Philadelphia Catholic League, these kind’ve moments are ingrained in you. Sometimes I still wake up in cold sweats of nightmares from being down 40 to Neumann Goretti and them throwing alley-oop inbounds passes.

This kid can relate. Didn’t even know the Slump God was even behind him ready to engrave his signature on him. (One person reading this will get that joke.) At that point, put your cleats in the middle of the field Greco Roman Wrestling style and just retire.


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I have to talk about the ski mask accessory though. I 100% believe in “You Look Good. You Feel Good. You Do Good.” There’s no denying a little drip in the uniform can go along way. But the ski mask better not catch on. It might work against Chester and Danny from Rancho Cucamonga high school in 7on7 in the summer, but under the Friday Night Lights against Dematha in the middle of December you better be the next great Alabama WR if you want to pull this shit off. Anything that obstructed my vision or hindered my breathing I’d probably leave at home. Next,  we’re going to have kids running routes with backpacks on Moss’ing kids and pulling out a new pair of cleats to put on. Or someone’s going to sign their letter of intent they stuffed in their crotch all game after a one-handed catch for a touchdown. Leave the celebrations for when you get to the NFL and I can blog them.


P.S. If this kid isn’t related to TO in some way I’ll be very surprised.


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