Way back in February, Dave Portnoy made the claim that he would fire Greenie when the Celtics were eliminated from the playoffs if he didn’t get his shit together. If you recall, this stems from Greenie writing headlines for his posts that could make a story of Tiger Woods getting Meghan Markle pregnant right after clearing Steven Avery’s name for murder, into an un-click-worthy blog. It was sad but true. So that pushed Portnoy into finally running blogger school in hopes of helping all the content creators.
Well, not long after school was out, along came the NBA all-star game. Greenie laid a stinker and Portnoy had enough.
"Fucking @StoolGreenie, who's the dumbest guy we have, put up a fucking blog about a basketball player no one knows about. GREENIE! How about you buy a brain? We're trying to move t-shirts! Greenie's just so stupid." — Dave Portnoy on @BarstoolRadio
— Deke Zucker (@Barstool_Quotes) October 19, 2018
Hot seat: @StoolGreenie
— Barstool Radio (@BarstoolRadio) February 18, 2019
Fast forward to last night. Celtics vs Bucks, Boston facing elimination. Unfortunately for the green inflatable guy from Always Sunny, the Bucks sent the Celtics packing. That now begs the question – Will Greenie get canned? I mean Dave is a man of his word. You don’t go from giving away free newspapers to a $200 million company by not sticking to your guns. So Greenie has to go right? If for no other reason than Portnoy’s reputation.
Never want to see a man lose his job. Especially when it’s a dream job like Barstool. So in the interest of fairness, let’s take a peek at some of Greenie’s headlines:
Ehhhhh. I mean I’m not going to click, but that might be some people’s cup of sleepy tea.
Alright now we’re talking. Beanie Melo gets the click machine moving. Everyone knows that. Do I want Melo on my team? No. Do I want to see Beanie Melo cross up ghost defenders in an empty gym? Sure do.
Hate it. And the very next day too. You’re giving me too much Green man. Literally told us everything that is in this blog. No need to click. Maybe switch it up with something like “Confidence through the roof after seeing this from Brad Stevens.” Makes me want to open, see what Brad Stevens is doing. Why are you so confident? Feed me mama bird.
Last one annnnnnnnd it’s not great. Hate the post game recap blogs and I think Dave does too. Love the photoshop though. Clean lines and everything.
So now we play the waiting game. Dave has to address the big Green elephant in the room today on the radio. Can’t ignore it. He promised heads might roll, and I hope if it happen, he goes full Cersei style. Leans in to Greenie’s ear slowly and whispers. “If you have any last words, now’s the time.” Next thing you see is Big Cat cut his head off while the hand (KFC) smiles. Poetic justice.
Ps. Need a new blogger Dave?