In a dark, weirdly decorated south eastern Massachusetts basement, 3 people sat drunk and bleary eyed, considering the next step after the anticlimactic end of their first podcast. The sun had set for Misguided Musings after 50ish episodes. Jordan, Maynerd, and I were disappointed but not yet ready to give up on the possibility of continuing to entertain literally tens of people with humor, insight, and childish sexual references that aren’t safe for work and most Arby’s restrooms.
Suddenly, Maynerd spoke up. “Can I pee in your back yard?” That’s when inspiration hit (looking back, I realize that these events are unrelated). The reason our last show failed, aside from leaving an already established network to create our own with disastrous results, was because we had no structure. While Seinfeld thrived on being a show about nothing, they were the exception to the rule. We needed an actual topic, actual research, and something actually remotely interesting.
As Maynerd returned from defiling my wife’s vegetable garden, I noticed his t-shirt, emblazoned with a cartoonish depiction of a semi-nude Alex Jones making sweet love to a Yeti. I knew what our show was going to be about. Three months, and 14.8 million beers later, Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal was born. The only thing we were missing was a network. Given our past failures, we knew we couldn’t go it alone. That’s when I met the team from Branded Sports and even though they had no reason to suspect I had any talent, whatsoever, they allowed my team and I the chance at marginal success.
After a further seven months of negotiations, numerous fist fights, and two oddly erotic Donkey Shows that Maynerd insisted we attend for research purposes, we reached an agreement. Today’s release is the cumulation of a lot of hard work and dedication from our tireless producer, Jordan. He took 45 minutes of drunken rambling and made a show out of it. We’re excited to release our first episode, aptly titled “The Moon, The Myth, The Legend”. I hope you’ll give it a listen and if you like it, give us a review. If you don’t like it, that’s okay, lots of people don’t recognize brilliance right away. Thank you for your time and remember, anything is bite size of you’re committed to excellence.