Disclaimer: I wrote this blog last Thursday and I’m not revising anything because I’m a God damn icon who doesn’t […]
Joey Boats
I Will Impregnate A Generator Today To Become A Super Hero…
Okay, so it’s currently Thursday and due to three OT graveyard shifts, I’ve managed to accrue roughly 9 hours of […]
Antonio Brown Might Be My Favorite Athlete Right Now…
Okay, so it’s Tuesday and I may make my third attempt at seeing Once Upon A Time In Hollywood tonight […]
CEO Joe’s On Vacation, But More Importantly, He’s On The Hot Seat…
Okay, so it’s a reentry Monday and I’m currently finalizing the blueprints for a potential suicide plan. I figure if […]
For The First Time, I Walked Out Of A Movie…
Okay, so it’s Wednesday and I have some explaining to do… Over the past two weeks, I’ve worked nearly 120 […]
Is Charlie And The Chocolate Factory The Worst Movie Ever?
Alright, so it’s Friday and the sky’s the limit. Most Fridays around 6 PM, I’m already three sheets to the […]
Do You Think I’m Afraid of Russia’s FaceApp? Give Me a Break…
Okay, so the British Open is well underway and Tiger’s back. I’m sure I’ll have some commentary on the event […]
Far From Home: You Can’t Replace Tony Stark, But They Kinda Did…
Okay so it’s hump day, which means last night was $5 Tuesday, which means I finally managed to drag my […]
Music Festival People Are Absolute LUNATICS…
So it’s a reentry Monday and I’m battling. As I get older, getting back into the swing of things after […]
I’ve Never Dominated Anything More Than I Dominated July 4th…
Shameless Disclaimer: Absolute hiatus on my end. I haven’t blogged in roughly a week and I’m probably rusty but we’ll […]
An IDIOT’S Guide To The Democratic Debates…
Shamelessly self-serving disclaimer: I’m not some some pigheaded, gun-hoarding Francis Scott Key apologist; conversely, I’m not some sanctimonious, Twitter-slumming outrage […]
Top 5 Changes That Would Make Soccer “America’s Game”
As I’m writing this, it’s Sunday and the Red Sox bullpen just chalked up their seventeenth blown save of the […]
Toy Story 4: Pixar Took Mercy On Us…
Okay, so I saw Toy Story 4 last Friday and it was the quite the experience. It was an early […]
These Little League Parents Deserve Death…
Obligatory Side Note: I’m currently listening to Sum 41’s 2001 All Killer No Filler album on Spotify and it’s absolute […]
Is Kyrie A Real Fucking Person…?
Okay, so it’s Thursday and the weather is getting to me. I think condensation may be my least favorite thing […]