Just kidding, this is the most non-story story of all time. Is that what it’s officially called though, a ‘nut shot’? or is it a ‘nut tap’? a ‘cup check’? I’ve never been quite sure and I didn’t really have the need to ask until now.
Something tells me though if Taylor Swift had not rolled up to Arrowhead for girl dinner this footage might actually be the lead in story on Good Morning Football today. Kyle Brandt would definitely have something zany planned.
We have adults who are paid to report on the National Football League watching all 22 slow motion telestrator footage of a players dick to determine if there was an intentional nut tap to it during a full contact sports game. May I suggest just giving Tyler Cameron a follow instead?
Honestly, the game itself was so excruciatingly painful to watch that this non nut shot might actually be the most exciting thing to happen all day. Zach Wilson didn’t even throw any passes to the other team, and only the cast of Jersey Shore was able to make it.
Despite the fact that Sauce Gardner was not assessed a 15 yard penalty for shoving a franchise QB to the soaked, likely moldy turf, he somehow needed to justify with the league why he should not be fined for once again, tossing Mac Jones to the ground like a dildo at a Bills game. Everyone knows the best way to get a message to Roger Goodell and his colleagues is to post a blurry phone recording of the incident to Twitter.
The only revelation from this video is that Sauce Gardener probably should have been ejected for throwing one of the bright young faces of the NFL onto the field with as much disdain as Bill Belichick throws a challenge flag or an AFC championship trophy. If this happened to Patrick Mahomes, Brittany Mahomes would have a spot on Tucker Carlson tonight.
This “investigation” is a worse look for the Jets than Zach Wilson. After perhaps the most winnable of the past 15 straight matchups against the Patriots, your top 5 pick corner and potential future of the franchise is busy watching film of his dick. The Jets haven’t seen such a prolific penis performance since Antonio Cromartie. Maybe Mac was just trying to save him a similar headache? I’m not sure the world needs more children anyways, they are always spreading so many germs and very noisy on airplanes, something a New York Jet might be concerned about.
Really glad the NFL is going to be swiftly looking into such a heavy issue in today’s league. There’s nothing more paramount to the integrity of the game than always getting it right in the most important situations.
*I look forward to updating this when Mac Jones is inevitably suspended for 3 seasons.