Surviving Barstool Finale Recap: Humans Prevail

On the heels of Grace’s tragic elimination, the day 1 alliance of Steven Cheah, Eddie, Rudy, and Jackie made it to the final 4. It was time for the remaining contestants to finalize their Excel spreadsheet data analysis and prepare for the outcome possibilities.

What was proven to me in the final hours leading up to the final tribal council is that Steven Cheah’s brain will be studied by scientists. The first case of CTE by osmosis. Whatever part of the brain is responsible for exhaustion, throwing in the towel, or self doubt was not included in the creation of Steven Cheah.

The quality of challenges on these Barstool reality shows has been really top notch. The last one is an endurance game, standing on a faux log that gets smaller and smaller as the game goes on. It’s a Survivor classic with a Barstool twist and the prop log was awesome. The only change I would have made was to do it in the gambling cave while Frank watches a Mets game.

The winner of this challenge is in the drivers seat, and it felt like Rudy and Jackie were in must win territory. Luckily for Rudy he was able to finish to completion this time, lasting for an impressive amount of time on one leg.

It’s also not lost on me that even as returnees, Nick and Tommy are some of the funniest parts of this episode.

The conversations commence to decide who is going to the final office fire, but again no one even mentions Eddie’s name. I had a feeling he might ride in the background into the finale.

His biggest gameplay in this situation was how loyal he had previously been to Steven Cheah. There was no reason for Cheah to question where Eddie’s vote was going, like Eddie hasn’t grown up with Johnny Bananas and Millionaire Mitchell.

Steven Cheah presents his already fake data spreadsheet on who will win in every combination of people possible by letting us know he fudged the fake data. He tried to convince Rudy that his best chance of winning just so happened to mean he would not get kicked off. As usual, he also shared all of this information to the entire group. No one cared about the Excel spreadsheet, which is a feeling I, too, have experienced once or twice in my life.

This was Eddie’s breaking point and he physically had to leave the room, preferring to lay on a concrete floor over listening to one more minute of Steven Cheah present statistical analysis. Once Eddie leaves, Cheah uses the opportunity to tell Rudy he was threatening him which feels like something you shouldn’t have to explain to someone you are threatening. Just give the threat.

In this case the radioactive threat Steven Cheah had on Rudy was that he actually found the 3rd immunity clue and destroyed it and showed no one and that if he crossed him he would have to pin the move on Rudy. No one ended believing this.

Really well done keeping the mystery of the vote until we actual saw them getting read. Up until this point everyone just followed through with everything Cheah suggested. It made it so much more satisfying we didn’t really even need this clip to exist.

I love Jeff D Lowe and Rone as hosts, but KFC crushed that dramatic vote reading and speech about robots.

What no one was expecting was before the vote, Cheah revealed he has been working with Eddie since weeks ago. So when the vote came back 3-1 Cheah, Eddie got all the credit for making the big time move and eliminating his pre-show alliance member. What Rudy thought was making his case to the jury really ended up being the nail in his coffin.

The final tribal council was upon us, with the jury mostly showcasing their own comedic talents and reasons why they should have won versus asking questions on who they should vote for. This is a content game after all. Tiko’s speech was stellar, but Kontent Kim is the baddest bitch of them all.

Eddie started off the speeches with a tear jerker. It’s why I didn’t understand how everyone thought he would be a layup. I’ve never heard a bad word about Eddie, just a couple barks. He followed reality TV 101: lay out the critical moves you made to get you to the finale, and then present an emotional back up justification to connect with the jurors playing with their mind and their heart. When he dropped the real nuclear bomb about the wire tapping, it was hard to find any more dominating a move that also he kept secret for the whole game. Disrespectful that there were no No Quitters fans in the mix.

From there Jackie and Rudy were goners. Eddie mentions how he worked the first 6 years for free, and conveniently left out the fact that he currently hosts a flagship show with the owner of the company.

Tiko, Kim, and Grace all voted for Eddie and Cheah and Caroline for Jackie(y). Rudy really got fucked over by Eddie in the end, and it was the kind of attack that you never saw coming. Unless you are me who predicted last night that Eddie would probably win.

The Surviving Barstool reunion, which I’m pretty sure filmed just yesterday, aired immediately after the finale. We catch up with Tiko, who has challenged both Jackie and Caroline to a Rough n Rowdy in the time period since the show ended. All the girls look really hot at this after show so this might be the time to strike while the iron is hot.

Congrats to Eddie and everyone involved for another top notch reality show season, proving the formula of a bunch of psychopaths with sleep depravation will make great entertainment. The only stone left unturned is a dating show, and I have some ideas…


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