Oldest Living Person Keeps Getting Older

A Japanese women, Kane Tanaka, just turned 119. After doing the bare minimum amount of research I did a complete 180 on this lady.

Whenever I see posts where old people don’t know their age and are shocked when told they’re 100+ or even something like this women just having a birthday I always think they’re fake and their grandkids just wanting to go viral. I hate that shit. I’m not sure why but those posts always irritate me so the plan was to write this blog and just brutally roast this old lady. I was going to make a Betty White joke, I had a whole thing I was gonna do but no not anymore.

I was convinced this was fake until I saw that tweet. That tweet is probably why I’m not going to go to hell.

I know what you’re thinking, yeah she does look 119. That’s not what convinced me. No, my big dumb brain saw Japanese writing and like that I was convinced. Just immediately I believed the story. Now all I want to know is what is it about the Japanese language that my brain just lets its guard down for. Another job for my therapist to figure out I guess.

Happy birthday Kane Tanaka, there’s a decent chance you’ll end up outliving me the way I’ve been living.

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