Mac Jones Is Apparently The Next Ndamukong Suh

At least that’s the newest narrative that will fuel Patriots hate for the next 15-20 years. It’s a sickness really, and I completely understand. Imagine you’re the Buffalo Bills. Tom Brady leaves your division and you finally make it to an AFC Championship game the first year after, early in Josh Allen’s prime, thinking the only person in your way now is Patrick Mahomes because of course Tom Brady is don…..

Enter Mac Jones. Swapping avocado smoothies for spaghetti, eggs and steak pregame, Mac Jones is an even more boring version of Tom Brady. His voice is one singular tone, he’s wildly accurate in the short passing game, and he seems to genuinely enjoy getting hit. Time’s up Mahomes. It’s MacCorkle’s conference now.

No good Patriots legacy is complete without being a villain. So when Mac Jones was left to die by Isaiah Wynn without enough time to even attempt a dump off to Brandon Bolden and was hit cleanly and forcefully by a 6’5, 250lb defensive end causing him to lose the football and crush into the ground, it should scare people that his first instinct was to prevent points off a turnover at all costs. Cam Newton would never and has never.

Instead the online community has slammed Mac Jones with the notorious scarlet letter “dirty player”. We’ve got Mike Pereira out apple picking stopping for a quick touch base with Dean Blandino on the incident. Aaron Rodgers is probably consulting with Joe Rogan on it.

According to the !Yahoo! sports person who writes salacious headlines to draw views to his boring, mediocre content, “The play looks as dirty as anything Ndamukong Suh ever did to get suspended by the NFL.”

Ndamukong Suh, who has a 4:53 dirtiest hits compilation video of him choking people out in the middle of the field and giving poor, delicate Patrick Mahomes a stone cold stunner, has never done anything dirtier than Mac Jones mid sack thinking he’s saving a fumble TD.

Dirtier than Chargers Jerry Tillery piledriving Mac Jones to the ground multiple moments after a rain of whistles echoed into the parking lots?

No idea what was in Mac’s brain huh? Let’s just ask Mac ourselves! Foolproof way to find out.

The people clamoring for a rich athlete to have to cut a check to Roger Goodell thinking that’s going to fill the void of being a fan of the Houston Texans for the past 30 years are a sad group of people. “If that happened to MAC JONES, that guy would be sent to Alcatraz!!!” like sir, have you ever watched anyone try to tackle Derrick Henry?

I look forward to losing that 6th round conditional pick we got for Gilmore because of Mac’s dirty play. Maybe we should suspend Tom Brady for it just in case.


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