As the president and spokesperson for the Summer Is The Best Season community, October 1st marks a depressing day for me and my like minded friends.
I’m not anti-fall, per se, but more anti anything that brings us closer to winter. I don’t think I need to go into more detail on why the 6-8 months of shoveling brown snow, losing functionality of my appendages when stepping outside, and worst of all, having to wear a jacket, are a blatant form of capital punishment.
So for many of us, the start of fall is just a Pavlovian response to the eventual start of winter. That being said, it also kicks off a season of exclusively pumpkin flavored featured items at Trader Joe’s and an uninhibited excitement for people to wear plaid scarves. Tik Tok is going to be a wasteland for my #TeamSummer or *gasp* #TeamSpring people, lord knows no one cares about any #TeamWinter people.
Just a matter of minutes into October 1st, we have the worst fall video to hit the 5G airwaves. The kind of video that turns your stomach and makes that PSL come up into your mouth a little bit.
I know what you are all thinking now. Yes, that guy is way too old to be on Tik Tok. Doesn’t he have a few kids to take care of? Why is he holding his pinky up like that? This face is one that will pop up in your nightmares every time you even think of a gourd.
Good luck enjoying your apple picking this weekend after that!