So What Does Everyone Think Of The New NFL Taunting Rule?

Rarely ever does a comment section unite in agreement of something, let alone something as controversial as professional football. I’ve never seen so many blue check marks stepping out with such a brave take. It’s true, the new taunting rule stinks and everybody knows it because everybody’s complaining about it online.

Let me be the first to say that I love the new NFL taunting rules* for what it’s doing to people. I love watching already unstable NFL fans grapple with their 3rd string corner air humping after a PBU costing them 15 yards. There’s something just ~magical~ about letting a group of middle aged part time accountants decide where the line is between trash talking and immature overreacting. It adds just another element to the game to worry about, other than injuries….actual NFL officiating…COVID policies and protocols…defining what is and is not a catch…not fumbling out of the end zone…and sometimes even having explosive diarrhea in the middle of a game.

*except when they inevitably cost the Patriots a TD against the Bucs or something

There hasn’t been one instance so far, through 2 games of the season, where this rule has been correctly implemented. That’s how I know Roger Goodell will keep it in effect until his reign as commissioner ends in 2075. You know it’s bad when Alex Caruso is not on your side.

However, if we’re really going to do this, there are a few other stipulations I would like to add into the rulebook.

If you are down by 14 points or more and you celebrate anything at all, that should be an instant 15 yard penalty.

If you wear one of those cross earrings in one ear during a game, you should be immediately suspended for a 2 game minimum.

Dyeing just the top of your hair platinum blonde should be a uniform violation and a fine.

You should not be allowed to wear yellow gloves, it just gets too confusing.


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