It’s Time to Put an End to Open Toe Shoes – Vince is Fed Up

Hi! Producer Vince here!

You definitely know me as the brains behind hit podcasts like Birds vs Boys and Spit Ballin as well as the Branded Sports video wizard.

But now I’m here tell you I’m fed up.

I live in Center City Philadelphia so I do a lot of walking and I see what can only be described as disgusting, inhuman behavior on a daily basis.

I’m of course referring to humans wearing open toe shoes in public.

Going into restaurants, coffee shops, stores, walking through the park… IN PUDDLES!!! I see peoples toes everywhere and I’ve really had enough.

We live in an advanced society. I can ask my phone how much money a virtual trading card costs. Shoes are a HUGE part of modern culture. Why are we walking around with our tootsies out?

Women have an easier argument here than men because there are some outfits that open toe shoes go with. That’s great, I can respect getting a fit off. Just know you’re still gross though.

Absolutely NO traditional “male look” is elevated by flip flops though and that’s final.

Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask. I don’t know where we stand with that honestly but I do know the ground has always been and will always be disgusting. Why are you bringing those germs and/or cooties into your home?

If I have to make a concession I guess the beach is acceptable??? But that’s only because we all just agree that it’s okay to be gross at the beach. 

I don’t want to hear “what about a barbecue or pool party?” Shoes. Always shoes. Unless you are actively swimming, both of your feet need to be stowed and in the upright position.

Now I know it’s not cool to kink shame in 2021 and I never would because who cares what someone else does it doesn’t affect me. But knowing there are people out there that see feet (people stand on them ALL DAY, mind you) and get all excited makes me want to leave this Earth. 

Actually, let’s round up all the flip flop people and all the foot fetish people and let them be the first to colonize the moon. Leave the rest of us to live in peace.

If you’re triggered by anything I’ve said in this blog you can head up to space as well.

That being said if you like this nonsense you can follow me on Twitter @vincescian_ and catch me every week producing better than anyone in the game over at @birdsvsboyspod and @spit_ballinpod.

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