Alex Caruso didn’t even really need the $37 mill; once you get a co-sign from Rihanna that’s like sending out echolocation signals to the IG model community.
In any other profession besides basketball, Alex Caruso doesn’t even get a follow back from a Barstool smokeshow. Actually if Alex Caruso was drafted by the Orlando Magic I don’t think the Suns bubble chick even approves it. He literally looks like this.
I will say that playing in the NBA next to Lebron James and Anthony Davis every night is a little misleading because Alex Caruso is 6’4 and being that tall always gets you pussy. It’s also hard to get a good look at his face and the top of his head from down here.
Becoming a Los Angeles Laker is the best thing to ever happen to Alex Caruso. Lakers fans know how to embrace a guy like that. Real lunch pail, first in last out, blue collar, scrappy guy. Everything that being a true Laker is about. For us real Lakers fans, keeping Alex Caruso was the number 1 priority this offseason. Sure, signing every other player available over the age of 35 was part of the plan too, but never did I think we’d lose our guy.
But with a new IG model on his arm and $37 million on the table, Alex Caruso unfortunately signed a new contract with the Chicago Bulls. Shortly after, Caruso’s leading lady Mia Amabile shared a story of Alex, wearing a very fashionable bucket hat, on the beach with a well placed GIF of the Chicago Bulls logo. First of all can she even name 3 head coaches for the Bulls in the 80s? Probably not even a real sports fan.
Not sure she’s going to love Chicago, but I can think of 37 million reasons why it’ll probably be fine.