Chet “Hanx” has released a music video for his song of the next 2-4 business days, White Boy Summer.
I’ve already broken down the reasons why White Boy Summer is a threat to public safety, but this music video has all of the elements of any classic White Boy Summer. A nerf football, wife beaters (the apparel), potentially problematic cultural appropriation, and above all, a lot of fat ass.
That’s just when it hit me. I’ve seen this movie before, and it was in 10th grade at the Warwick Mall movie theater after spending the night loitering at the mall and spending my parents money at Abercrombie and Fitch.
The plot of 2003’s cult classic “Malibu’s Most Wanted”, starring Jamie Kennedy as rapper B-Rad from Malibu, is summarized best on its Wikipedia page,
The film centers on the family life of Bill Gluckman (Ryan O’Neal), a wealthy Jewish senator from Malibu, California who is running for the office of Governor of California. His son Brad (Jamie Kennedy) is a wannabe “Eminem“, preferring to go by the nickname “B-Rad” despite leading a rich, sheltered life. As a result, members of Mr. Gluckman’s political campaign become concerned that Brad’s idiotic, outlandish behavior will ruin his father’s chances at being elected.
Everyone knows the Presidential buzz around Tom Hanks, that’s right father of Chet Hanks TOM HANKS, has always been loud. Like when he literally announced he was running with The Rock in 2020 (as a “joke”).
Or when he hosted the actual 2020 presidential inauguration celebration:
Or when a few people on Twitter with 78 followers fully endorsed the campaign.
22% of Americans said they would consider Tom Hanks for President in 2024.
We are now at the point in the film where Chet Hanks is unfortunately going to be kidnapped by a fake gang hired to scare him out of his ludicrous accent and away from the devastating potential of destroying a promising political career only for him to get mixed up into actual gang violence where Tom Hanks eventually needs to step in and save his son. The script has already been written. The parallels are too similar for this to be anything other than a live action sequel to Malibu’s Most Wanted. Malibu’s Most Wanted 2: Every Summer Is A White Boy Summer will bring the box offices back to life in 2021.
Plus, if you want to talk song of the Summer…