What else is Tik Tok good for if not at least for 1-2 good hypothetical debates per day. This is where Gen Z kids thrive–pushing the human brain to a place it has never gone before. In this case, it’s wondering if presented with the opportunity to suit up for 30 minutes for your favorite team.
My gut reaction as me myself personally is to say of course I take the game minutes. As a relatively out of shape looking woman, no one would be expecting me to light it up from the 3 point line or post up Joel Embiid. We’re at a time in society I think most people are rooting for a feel good story. I mean how successful was the Air Bud franchise? It’s a fucking golden retriever playing basketball. People on TV would probably assume it was some sort of Make A Wish event anyways and I could see most teams respectfully letting up enough so I could stand under the backboard and bank in a layup. I’d be the first woman to play in an NBA regulation game, and you don’t pass up an opportunity to etch your name in the history books.
But….30 minutes of game time is a long fucking time. One series between time outs I could handle. 30 full minutes would be excruciating. On defense I would be a liability, trying to disappear into a zone in the fear of having one viral clip of someone breaking my ankles, NBA player or not. That film can’t exist. Not all history is good history.
In this hypothetical situation he didn’t even specify which 30 minutes of game time it was. It could be 30 minutes at the end of a dominant blowout win by your team. Jared Dudley basically makes over $2 million dollars a year to do that.
You would have one shot though at a heroic moment and I feel like the fear of missing the mark would drive any normal person to say absofuckinglutely not if put in this situation. Anyone can become a viral video in 2021, but you can’t escape your signature clip. If you become the guy who got posterized by Alex Caruso you most certainly would never come back from that.
And for god’s sake please make sure to scrub your Twitter account before agreeing to this one.