We here at Branded Sports value clicks, they’re a badge of honor for us to show off to the other nerds on the internet. I’ve spoken to every Branded Sports Employee and they have confirmed if we do not get the number of clicks we desire from you the Branders today they are ready to unleash hell on earth.
Sources are telling me some of the Branders are prepared to do the following.
CEO Joe: Act really Italian.
Kmess: Call in a bomb threat to (location redacted for legal reasons).
AJ: Go to your grandma’s nursing home and talk to her about “why this is the Eagles’ year” until she yanks her oxygen out of her nostrils and dies.
Walsh: Order Asian Zing wings from Bdubs and take a crap in your work bathroom.
Ali: Order a burnt diaper scented candle, break into your house and light it, forcing you to sell your house for wayyy less than what you paid for it.
Kelsey: Teach your blind cousin fake braille.
Roster Girls: Get pied by your grandpa.
And plenty of more debauchery will be unleashed by the Branded Sports crew unless you click, click, click, click and then click again.
-VIVA