April Fools Day Is For Complete Losers

Along with its counterparts Valentine’s Day and Groundhog Day, people/brands who participate in April Fools Day are the scum of the Earth. One of those holidays that is only fun when you are in first grade and first grade only. Even the 2nd graders know April Fools is for pussies.

Especially in 2021, there’s no April Fools joke possibly worth telling. Honestly telling any jokes at all at this point is risky. I don’t even know if it’s possible to successfully pull off an April Fools joke anymore, we could look at pretty much any headline nowadays and just continue drinking our morning coffee.

After a year where April Fools jokes were canceled, brands have been planning their marketing campaigns around a cheesy forced viral tweet based on a 40 year old social media manager’s interpretation of what a 21 year old college student says is cool on Tik Tok for a while now. If Burger King hadn’t already canceled themselves earlier this year, I’d say they were the odds on favorite for canceling themselves on April Fools Day.

Starting on March 30th, the Internet is on high alert for shenanigans. My weapons are drawn visiting the Google homepage on April Fools. Uno Pizzeria was the first to kick off this years festivities, at least I think. Losing the deep dish pizza at Uno doesn’t even feel like something you should joke about.

Volkswagen, always known for their irreverent humor, really had the world ROFL with this zinger about electric cars.

Michael Strahan tried to announce his groundbreaking decision to get rid of his signature tooth gap and no one’s buying it.

Right out of the Anthony Davis unibrow handbook, and now we all have trust issues. If you are going to make a drastic change to your appearance, wait until April 2nd at least.

I don’t like any pranks to be done on me in general, because looking stupid in a public or social setting is one of my greatest fears. We all know what it’s like to spend countless hours literally preparing for every possible life scenario as to never be caught off guard or not know what to say.

There has got to be a story of someone being told their grandma died on April 1st and having to see some hard evidence to believe it’s not an April Fools joke. Why do we even have a holiday for people to openly fuck with other people. It’s sadistic. There are people that are enraged at a Lil Nas X sneaker that just go around playing April Fools jokes on their 12 year old.

In conclusion, FUCK April Fools Day and anyone that observes.


0 0 votes
Article Rating

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments