People Are Now Finding Out The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shrimp Guy Is Married To Topanga And Has A Pretty Cool Life (Other Than The Shrimp In His Cereal)


We will always remember March 2021 as the month the guy found shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Naturally for any reasonable person finding shrimp tails and potentially rat poop in a bag of cereal, the first place to head is to Twitter, where you can put a 22 year old college grad in charge of fixing a corporate nightmare. And for those unfortunate souls, the cinnamon coated shrimp tails really arrived on the wrong doorstep. If Cindy Cereal down in Topeka, Kansas picks up this box of CTC, she calls a 1-800 number and screams into a robot abyss for 48 minutes until American Idol starts. Instead, blue checkmark verified husband of the one and only Topanga ended up with the dessert shrimp. I’m not sure if it’s a sign of a larger scale breakdown at the General Mills corporate level, or just a case of Internet kismet.

To many, Jensen Karp will always be known as the Cinnamon Toast Crunch shrimp guy. But a quick scan of his Wikipedia page and a IG research session reveals would reveal that Jensen is not only married to Topanga…John Mayer was in/performed at his wedding (and as any Stoolie would know went to a bachelor party with Rone). He was signed to Ice-T’s management at age 11, is a freestyle rapper, signed a deal with Interscope, has a stage name of Hot Karl, and probably most shockingly is a huge Clippers fan.

Chance the Rapper even came out in acknowledgement of Jensen’s street cred. General Mills should know who they are fucking with here.

See more from Jensen and Danielle/Topanga’s wedding here, with possibly the most unique collection of human beings ever. Hoping Jensen never takes a company ski trip without her after this cinnamon dust settles.


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