Surviving Barstool Episode 2 Power Rankings

Someone on Reddit pointed out how dumb someone would be to power rank from worst to first and since I would never do something that dumb I’ll just point out that there is a big shift in the power rankings after episode 2 of Surviving Barstool.

Despite having a rough go at it for episode 1 power rankings after Trysta called me a man, I think I was pretty spot on with my read on everyone after night 1. Night 2 changed everything.

  1. Nick

Nick has skyrocketed to the top of the power rankings after episode 2 because I think he has Tommy Smokes in a blender. Actually he has me in a blender too because I think I am in love with Nick. I’ll say it, watching Nick call his mother to confirm his pooping preferences had me weak in the knees. I’ve never witnessed anyone with as charm, wit and delight at Nick Turani. I don’t know how he loses anymore, unless he convinces people to vote him out on purpose as a bit. How can you let down Mrs. Turani like that?

2. Tommy Smokes

Tommy isn’t going far from the top spot since he’s not even remotely a topic of conversation about being sent home. My strategy would have been to latch onto Tommy from day 1 and make it seem like he is the mastermind and coming after everyone. I can’t decide if Tommy is playing up his nervous energy or the Pete Davidson facial tone, but some cracks are starting to show. Perhaps the pressure of the moment is too big for Tommy, but I’m not giving up on the Vape God just yet. That wink was diabolical but Tommy is going to need bigger moves on his resume than Trysta.

3. Kelly Keegs

Kelly clearly knows what she’s doing here. Sure, Donnie and Zah may be better suited for the eating gross shit and the “Surviving” part of the show, but Keegs has the “Barstool” part down. So far besides White Sox Dave, Kelly has carried the tribal councils. Easily the most quotable contestant and I’m not sure why we haven’t got a “Am I the only cunt here?” crop top yet.

I wish Kelly didn’t just verbal diarrhea her voting strategy though the minute Trysta left. Can’t give Tommy that much information. I think she might be the first one he comes after or she’ll get screwed by his power.

I’m sorry, do we have Kelly Keegs or Lauren Conrad???

4. Zah

Episode 2 highlighted how fucking crazy Zah really is. The ultimate competitor, Zah might win on willpower alone. If Zah sneaks his way into a final 2 with pretty much anyone he’s got a shot at winning. For that reason I think he’s got to go sooner than later. Don’t let Zah hang around.

5. Donnie

Donnie scared me a little bit this episode with his lack of feel for the natural flow of game. I imagine that someone came up to Donnie 5 minutes before the vote and said hey write Trysta and he was like get the fuck out of my face Tommy Smokes oh shit we’re still doing that Surviving Barstool thing? Not saying it’s necessarily a bad strategy though, seeming like you don’t know what’s going on. Unfortunately for Donnie no one else really knows what’s going on either.

6. Briana Chickenfry

Briana Chickenfry actually made some good game moves this episode, and the rogue Tommy vote was actually genius. If only she did not immediately tell everyone including Tommy directly to his face that she gave a throwaway vote to him so easily because she felt bad for Trysta. An all star caliber player would have started a rumor that maybe Donnie or Nick was the rogue Tommy vote, and get Tommy to actually start working at this. It is smart of her so far to to stick by Kelly though because she can just let Kelly be the cunt and play the nice one. She might end up being the last girl standing.

7. Trysta

I don’t think Trysta liked her ranking after episode 1, but I nailed it. There’s a chance that if she hadn’t won the first immunity, we would have got one more night of White Sox Dave sleepwalking. This was a good old fashion blindside people. I imagine the top 2 thrills in life are jumping out of a plane and pulling off a successful blindside, in no particular order. I wish we got to see more of the background conversations that led up to the blindside and I bet Trysta does as well. She just came out too hot, telling everyone she was the first target, talking about how competitive she is. She might have had everyone read, but no one was going to listen to her. Looks like she’s got her own new series though, Surviving Trysta.

This is Trysta’s best tweet yet.

8. KBNoSwag

9. White Sox Dave

Not one single word from White Sox Dave this episode, through no fault of his own. I love that no one told Kevin that jury members can’t speak at tribal and he was just giving him the full Seacrest. Almost bumped him above KB but that evisceration by Nick while he sat in sworn silence can’t be ignored.



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