A Jewish Laser Beam Is Responsible For The California Wildfires, According To An Actual US Congresswoman

BadGalAli

I have never heard of anything as cool as a “Jewish laser beam”. When I saw this trending on Twitter, it made me proud to be a Jew. Growing up there weren’t exactly many “cool things” about being Jewish. Potato latkes and having a Bat Mitzvah; that’s the full list. It would have been a hell of a lot easier knowing that we had the power of some deadly laser beams.

On the Jewish totem pole, I’m ‘lights a menorah next to the Christmas tree’ low down. So I understand why this laser beam news would not have made it’s way to me until now, but knowing my fellow Jews might have access to our own laser beams makes me feel a little bit safer.

According to Republican Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene from where else–Georgia–a group of Jewish bankers created a powerful laser beam in California to spark the 2018 Camp Fire and make way for a high speed rail system.

In 2018 she shared a video, also on Facebook, that lambasted “Zionist supremacists” and advanced the “great replacement” theory, which falsely alleges that Jews are conspiring to undermine white-majority countries by bringing in non-white immigrants.

https://www.timesofisrael.com/marjorie-taylor-greene-blamed-deadly-forest-fire-on-rothschilds-and-space-lasers/

While it may seem like this Congresswoman might just hate Jews, it’s also a lot more fun to imagine what it would be like if there was an actual Jewish laser beam that existed.

To be honest the whole stock market thing would be the perfect cover up for the Jews getting found out for this powerful laser beam. The only thing Jews have more control over than natural disasters like wildfires is the stock exchange.

As Jewish people, are we supposed to be that passionate about mass transportation? I don’t get why, if we had access to a deadly laser beam, we would decide to use it on a high speed rail system. There were plenty of opportunities before 2018 to feasibly use it/them, too. Deploying the Jewish laser beam can only really work once, this feels a little premature.

Who has the final say in if we use it anyways? My vote is for Seth Rogen.

aliweitz

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