It’s a mouth full I know but the sad truth is, many of us fans are on the outside looking at the NFL playoffs this year. In fact, not a single Branded blogger will get the opportunity to experience postseason football this season. That wacky 2020 year left us in shambles. So I thought, since we are going to have an exciting playoff season, we need to know who we should be rooting for.
So with that I present to you, the 14 teams in the playoffs ranked by 14 (least rootable) to 1 (most rootable.) And provide you reasoning behind the rankings.
14. Saints (12-4. Seed #2): Fuck the Saints. Really not much else to it than that. They are cry babies, every penalty against them or not for them they whine like a bunch of hoes. No thank you. Also Drew Brees…..people don’t forget.
13. Rams (10-6 Seed #6): This team has some how become boring. From this high powered offense with a genius head coach that has never lost a memory match game in his life. To this dull, who cares, squad. Also they were 50% of the worst Super Bowl we’ve ever seen. Pass.
12. Washington (7-9 Seed #4): Everyone and their mother wants Washington to win it feels like. The 7-9 to knock off big bad Tom Brady. Chase Young is calling him out, ‘I want Tom Brady.’
Well you’re going to get him kid and he’s going to rock your shit. The year Chase Young was born Brady was in Ann Arbor slinging the rock and bending over cheerleaders. You don’t want this Chase and Brady is going to make light work of you. At least I hope. This WFT is boring as all hell.
11. Steeler (12-4 Seed #3): The ugliest fans in America. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times. Pittsburgh is the ugliest city ever created. A Pittsburgh 10 wouldn’t even be a Philly 4. This is another team that has become boring and stale. When you don’t have a team in the playoffs, you want to see a show. This team isn’t going to give you that.
10. Seahawks (12-4 Seed #3): Seattle is an interesting team because they always seem to play close games but they are just ehhhh. And I don’t mean their game play. Defense gives up points and the offense can fill it up quick. I mean from a personality point. Wilson is like a pull string toy, he has like 5 phrases. This squad needs to bring back the LOB. Get a little swagger in that building.
9. Colts (11-5 Seed #7): Now we’re starting to get into some teams with interest. The Colts are a squad that isn’t going to go out and dominate any team in the playoffs. But they are going to put on a show. Rivers is back there throwing the ball like a toddler that doesn’t know which hand is his dominate one. They play like organized chaos and you can’t ask for more in the postseason as a fan. If I were an Indy fan, this team would give me a heart attack but as an outsider looking in. Yes yes. Y. E. S.
8. Chiefs (14-2 Seed #1): The first top seed to team crack the power rankings. I know a lot of people don’t like this team because of one reason or another. Off the field, this team is super hate-able. Kelce is a big time tool, Maholmes future wife is honestly the most annoying person in these United States and their fans are insufferable. Buuuuuuuut, the team is exciting. No getting around that. If you take the off the field stuff out of it, they’d be 1 or 2 on the power rankings. But it’s hard to root for a team that has such an annoying fan base.
7. Titans (11-5 Seed #4): Derrick Henry.
6. Ravens (11-5 Seed #5): The hottest team in the NFL right now. Lamar is a human highlight reel. Baltimore has got a lot to prove as well so I’d expect them to be playing with their hair on fire. Mark my words though, this will be a team that is either going to back door cover a game they shouldn’t or not cover a game that they should. They are going to provide us a bad beat this post season I can just smell it.
5. Packers (13-3 Seed #1): The best quarterback in the league this year and the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. Not sure what else you really want from Green Bay. I can see it now, the NFC Championship game. Terry Bradshaw is freezing his nuts off and they do the old, ‘look my glass of water froze’ move. Happens every year. We get it, water freezes in the cold. Also, none of them just have a glass of water they are drinking. It’s corny but somehow I still love it.
4. Bears (8-8 Seed #7): I love this team. I don’t know why but I just do. Can’t stand Nagy but the team itself, love love love. The Bears are just that squad you can’t help but root for. They are going out there and playing their hearts out and no they aren’t going to win anything this year but they still give it the old college try. I think we all agree we’d love to see them upset the Saints. Chicago fans don’t get that PI call you know what they don’t do? They don’t go cry to the NFL office. No, they eat their beefs, pound and bunch of beers and gee wizz it into the next year. I love Chicago and I love the Bears.
3. Bucs (11-5 Seed #5): This is the Asses in Seats team. Tom Brady. He puts asses in seats. Antonio Brown. Asses in seats. That entire defense that gives up big plays in the air but is top notch on the run. Ass, meet seat. If you aren’t going to root for them because you hate Tom Brady for no real reason. Fine do that. Just know you have a big old dookie in your pants. There is a chance Brady will have to go through Brees, Rodgers and Maholmes to get a Super Bowl. Those are hall of famer after hall of famer. I’m rooting hard for this team and also because I took a future on them before the season started. Go Bucs
2. Browns (11-5 Seed #6): Who isn’t (except those ugos in Pittsburgh) rooting for the Browns. They have been through hell and back. They finally got into the postseason for the first time in 18 years. The last time they made it Michael Jordan was an all star and still had another year after that. Baker is entertaining and this fan base deserves this. Pittsburgh is talking all their shit because they didn’t have their entire starters in week 17 and got beat. That to me just sounds like fear. I hope Browns go into Pittsburgh and hang a 50 spot on them. Go Browns and do it for Tom Seipel
- Bills (13-3 Seed #2): The easiest team to root for in the history of sports. Bills Mafia is universally beloved, Buffalo somehow has become the Mecca for NFL fans and I can’t wait to go. Josh Allen has been nothing short of electric this season. If it weren’t for Aaron Rodgers playing like a god this year. Allen would be the head and shoulders favorite for MVP. And I know we talked about Browns fans deserve this, the bIlls fans had to suffer through 4 straight Super Bowl appearances and 4 straight Super Bowl loses. Not sure how you survive something like that. Either way, Buffalo is the number 1 team you need to be rooting for this postseason. And the best part, they don’t have ass hat fans that will call you a bandwagon jumper. They will welcome you with open arms. Because….