Turns Out Von Miller Might Be A Bad Guy

Eddie

CEO Joe note: This is all allegedly. Nothing has been proven this whole post is opinion.

Here I am laying in bed at 8:30Am to a text from CEO Joe. “Von Miller fucked up” and a link to a tweet. Let me tell you I was NOT ready for this goddamn text.

I saw rock hard dick and thought we had another Ray Allen situation on our hands. The next screenshot told a different tale…

Von! Even if you feel like that you can’t just be telling people bro Jesus Christ.

That’s gotta be a wild ass text to receive. Dude gets you pregnant and then tells you he’s praying for a miscarriage like fam. I can’t imagine typing that text out and I’m broke, like I can’t afford a kid. Von Miller and I, shockingly, are in different financial situations.

Is this his wife? It can’t be right. This is a text you send your mistress. I’m trying to get into the mindset of Von Miller and I’m having a tough time with it. This is similar to when Paul George offered that stripper a million dollars to have an abortion. A little different but same idea behind it all, maybe Vons cheap. Those NFL checks aren’t the same as NBA so maybe it’s a tight month.

As always Twitter had fun with this awful moment in these peoples lives. What a truly awful and amazing website.

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