John’s NBA Roundup – Atlantic Division

John Rich

Welcome to the first edition of John’s NBA Roundup. Your #1 place for hard hitting NBA content on the world wide web.

There has been some confusion regarding whether last week’s NBA games were regular season or pre-season games, but I am sure that will become more clear as long as I continue to watch SportsCenter with the sound off while I work from home.

Today we will take a look at the Atlantic Division. All teams in this division are in cities close to the Atlantic ocean except for Toronto which is a city in Ontario, Canada.

Philadelphia 76ers

John’s Prediction: 45-27

Hometown Celebrities I Would Like To See Courtside:

Storylines:

Will James Harden get himself traded to the 76ers? On the Branded Sports Nightcap last Thursday with, Chavy, Walsh, Mac, and myself, I was told by my delusional co-workers that Ben Simmons is a better sex haver than James Harden. I was so offended that I puked live on stream. James Harden is 7 years older than Ben Simmons, which is 7 more years of sex having experience. James Harden frequents strip clubs, meaning he has sex with strippers. Imagine all the cool sex tricks you would have under your belt from a career of stripper sex.

I saw a guy on ESPN the other day say that betting Joel Embiid to win the MVP at 25-1 was great value. If Joel Embiid win the MVP, I will kill a cat live on Instagram.

Last year, Meek Mill was released from prison and went directly to a 76ers game. I always wonder how that conversation went.

 

 

 

Brooklyn Nets

John Prediction: 45-27

Team Motto: One Team. Bone Goal.

 

Storylines:

Was it racist for the Nets to hire Steve Nash as their coach? Everyone agrees that it was.

Kyrie Irving used to dress up like an old person then go to Rucker Park and dominate pickup games. I remember thinking, “That’s so funny! What a cool guy! He seems pretty normal. I bet I could have a regular conversation with him.” Fast forward to this year:

 

New York Knicks

John Prediction: 20-52

What The Team Is Named After: Pants from the 1800’s

 

Youths wearing knickerbockers

 

Home Stadium: Madison Square Garden aka The Mecca

 

 

Storylines:

When I think of the New York Knicks I think of Latrell Sprewell doing crimes, and Patrick Ewing wearing knee pads. Fast forward 20 years: Latrell Sprewell is defaulting on his mortgage, and Patrick Ewing is recovering from COVID-19. Here are the current Knicks I have heard of

    • Obi Toppin (rookie)
    • Austin Rivers (Doc River’s hottest son)
Dock River’s ugliest son Jeremiah

 

Knicks owner James Dolan wears a hat and plays kazoo in his band “JD & The Straight Shots”

 

 

Toronto Raptors

John’s Prediction: 39-33

What The Team Is Named After: A Steven Spielberg movie about dinosaurs

Fun Fact About Dinosaurs: Dinosaurs would often swallow large rocks. The rocks stayed in their stomachs and help them digest food.

Storylines:

Has the Toronto Raptors throwback jersey jumped the shark? It’s one of the coolest throwbacks, but it seems like everyone has one now which makes it a little less cool. Consider Lil’ Pump.

 

A lot of people think that Drake is the Toronto Raptors biggest fan. The real Toronto Raptors super fan is Nav Bhatia. He has literally attended every single Raptors home game ever. He is handsome. He wears a turban courtside. He once sold 127 cars in 3 months.

 

 

Boston Celtics

My Prediction: 45-27

Foods I would eat if I visited Boston: Clam Chowder, Baked Beans, Cream Pies, Oyster

Storylines:

The Boston Celtics are still looking to find an identity since the departure of Doc Rivers and the Big 3.

Is this the year Boston changes their name from the Celtics to something less offensive?

@isjanosnas the best NBA Twitter account. Everyone was certain that he was dead. As soon as COVID hit he went completely dark from February through November. But then all of the sudden he was back. Here is some of @isjanosnba’s best work

 

 

 

 

 

Twitter: @JohnRichTV

 

 

 

Photo Creds:

h ttps://w ww.vulture.com/2018/04/meek-mill-got-the-heros-welcome-at-the-sixers-playoff-game.html

h ttps://w ww.altpress.com/news/bam-margera-dr-phil-episode-airs/

h ttps:// alchetron.com/Phil-Margera

h ttps://w ww.hollywoodreporter.com/news/vincent-don-vito-margera-dead-840405

h ttps://w ww.ft.com/content/0df8f9de-813e-11e2-9908-00144feabdc0

h ttps://w ww.spotern.com/en/spot/instagram/lilpump/291892/kappa-x-faith-connexion-purple-casual-pant-of-lil-pump-on-the-instagram-account-atlilpump

h ttps://ft w.usatoday.com/2019/05/raptors-fan-nav-bhatia-story-twitter-thread-nba-finals-toronto

h ttps://w ww.bigplay.com/meet-the-other-toronto-raptors-superfan-nav-bhatia/

h ttps://m ycitylife.ca/people/special-feature/nav-bhatia-raptors-superfan/

h ttps://ww w.usatoday.com/story/sports/nba/2018/10/19/lebron-james-lakers-debut-trail-blazers/1693056002/

h ttps://ww w.dickssportinggoods.com/p/goaliath-50-warrior-in-ground-basketball-hoop-19gltuglth50wrrrxbke/19gltuglth50wrrrxbke

h ttps://a pnews.com/article/2abd0b84c5d545e5992d433356786511

h ttps://w ww.si.com/longform/2015/1985/ewing/index.html

h ttps://a bc7ny.com/sports/spike-lee-done-watching-knicks-at-msg-this-season/5982000/

h ttps://ww w.carousell.sg/p/new-york-knicks-orange-foam-finger-let-s-go-1-fan-nyk-nba-basketball-38309168/

h ttp://ww w.lrmlegends.com/new-york-knicks-nba-can-holder-cold-soda-pop-beer-logo-tailgate-game-day-golf-new

h ttps://w ww.sbnation.com/lookit/2015/5/1/8532947/brooklyn-nets-bone-goal-shirts

h ttps://ww w.alamy.com/georgetown-hoyas-jeremiah-rivers-is-stopped-by-west-virginia-mountaineers-darris-nichols-on-his-way-to-the-basket-during-the-second-half-at-the-verizon-center-in-washington-on-february-12-2007-upi-photokevin-dietsch-image258450896.html

h ttps:// fashionhistory.fitnyc.edu/knickerbockers/

h ttps://w ww.thepostgame.com/blog/dish/201409/knicks-owner-james-dolan-takes-blues-kazoo-morning-tv

h ttps://w ww.thesportsgeek.com/blog/2020-nba-win-total-picks-atlantic-division/

0 0 vote
Article Rating

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Next Post

FOX Needs to Have Aqib Talib Back As a Commentator Every Week

Who knew what to expect from the Eagles on a week to week basis at this point. But what has […]
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x
%d bloggers like this: