When you think of the top 5 worst times to get explosive diarrhea, the middle of the 4th quarter of a meaningful Monday Night Football game against your division rival has got to be just outside of that list. But it’s not far behind.
Once everyone heard Lamar left the game due to “cramps” and then saw this video evidence it was loud and clear Lamar Jackson was bringing new meaning to the Cleveland Browns.
The clearest I’m about to shart run I’ve ever seen. To have that captured on camera is some of the worst film Lamar has put out in 2 years. Lamar was gone for over 10 minutes of game time and people started to get worried. What if Lamar started to get those leg tingles and couldn’t walk?
Instead Lamar came back literally moments after backup Trace McSorley got hurt and threw a touchdown pass on the next play. Someone do the math on Lamar’s next contract how much that is per minute of pooping.
Momentum started to build on Twitter that this was Lamar Jackson’s Paul Pierce wheelchair game where Paul Pierce famously got tired and had absolutely nothing wrong with him but wanted a little extra dramatics so he pretended to not be able to walk and then came back and hit a 3 on his next play back.
Now Lamar was stuck between a log and a hard place either admitting to being a little bitch like Paul Pierce or actually admitting on live television that he had explosive diarrhea during the middle of a game. He chose the road less traveled. We’ve all been there, Lamar. That’s why everyone recognized that scamper so quickly. If he had just come out and said you know what everyone, I had diarrhea. I couldn’t hold it. If I didn’t leave that field in that exact moment I would have pooped live during this ESPN broadcast. We were wearing the white uni’s, what did you want me to do? He would have been the biggest cult hero in history. They would have written children’s books called Even Lamar Poops. Instead, he stuck with the cramping storyline.
Decide for yourself if you really think Lamar was just cramping, getting some IV’s in the back or if he just had Chipotle. Michael Jordan may have had his flu game, but there is nothing quite like an old fashioned poop game.