Everyone Wants To Kick Jake Paul’s Ass


Jake Paul knocked out a former NBA player who had never boxed a day in his life on Saturday night….

Jake Paul fucking sucks, the dude is an absolute clown. After his “win” he decided to call out a bunch of real fighters where he would inevitably get his faced smashed in. I for one would love to see that so maybe we would never have to hear from him again.

The consensus online seems like everyone including myself would like to beat the piss out of that blonde haired goofy looking fuck. Let’s take a look at just a few of the people that would love to smack Jake Paul around…

Image-Evander Kane Twitter

NHL player and known tough guy Evander Kane wasted no time in calling out Paul. I’d love to see this one, Kane would beat destroy Jake Paul in a heartbeat. Kane is a beast and has the size to match Paul and actually has some fighting experience. Evander Kane by first round knockout here.

Image-Robin Lehner Twitter

Next up we have another NHL’er in Golden Knights goalie Robin Lehner. Love the confidence from the goaltender here and I fully support Lehner beating the piss out of Paul and I truly believe he would. Lehner by KO.

Image-Dillon Danis Twitter

This one might actually happen, these guys talk shit on each other so much and I would love to see Dillon Danis smack the shit out of Jake Paul. Danis wins this easily and would probably knock him out in the first round. But I feel like Danis would make this beating last and he would just toy with Paul the whole time and make it go all 3 or 5 rounds while just rearranging Jake Paul’s face. Danis by TKO because Paul cries like a little bitch.

Image-Branded Group Chat

Wow look at that, Jake Paul isn’t even safe from the staff here at Branded. Someone, I won’t say who(It’s me) even wants to throw down with the undefeated Paul. This anonymous Brander who isn’t in great shape thinks knows that he could beat either Jake Paul or Nate Robinson with only a three month training camp. Very bold statement from this Brander and honestly I think I believe them. I’m taking Walsh the anonymous Brander to beat Paul by KO in the first round with a flying knee to the head Jorge Masvidal style.

Are you someone that wants to beat Jake Paul’s ass? If so, just make sure you are about two feet shorter than him and 100 pounds less than him and maybe he will give you a shot. Oh, also make sure you’ve never fought a day in your life because those are the only opponents this clown faces so good luck.

Chavy will be in my Corner for this fight as well. I haven’t asked him yet but I trust that he will have my back. Here’s a live look of us after the bout…

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