Eagles Fans, I Think It’s Time We Start Rooting For All The Other NFC East Teams

RELAX!!! I know what you’re thinking. ‘I ain’t rootin for those frauds!!’ I get it, I hate them with every fiber in my body as well. They are the scum of the Earth trashbag teams/fans. Buuuuut, it’s what’s best for the Eagles at this point. This season isn’t our year. We’re not going to make the playoffs and if we did somehow pull off this division win, we’re getting boat raced in the first round. And honestly, making the playoffs this year hurts this team.

If Philly makes the playoffs by winning the worst division in sports they are looking at an early bounce from the playoffs and then a draft pick in the 20s. Not ideal. And God forbid they get to playoffs and win a game, the draft pick gets worse. We already know Howie can’t draft for shit. So he needs to be just handed a good player. In the 20s, you’re not guaranteed that, but in the top 5, it’s almost a lock.

This roster needs help, getting a meaningless playoff appearance does Philadelphia no good. So I, CEO Joe, am declaring the tank officially on. Quick look at the bottom of the standings here:

We can go ahead and pencil in the Jets, Jags and Bengals as your 1-3. They might finish the year with a combined 5 wins. So let’s talk about spots 4 and 5. Once again Doug Pederson has screwed the Eagles with that stupid tie. Had he just played for the win and lost we’d have the upper (lower?) hand. But to get into the top 5 of the draft, Philly needs to losing-ly leap frog 5 teams, Chargers, Giants, Texans, Cowboys and Washington.

The Chargers have one of the hottest quarterbacks in the game along with the league’s leading receiver. They are going to win some more games, they are no worry. Same kinda goes for the Giants. They are playing a way better brand of football (not saying much from where they started) as of late. They are going to upset a few teams. Texans, who knows. Any week they can win a game they shouldn’t and lose one in the same fashion. They are a complete wildcard.

Lastly we have Dallas and Washington. They play these Thursday on Thanksgiving and the winner of that game immediately goes to the top of the division. So one team gone already. So who do we root for on Thursday? The answer is easy, Washington.

Really we want all of the NFC East teams to win and the Eagles to lose. But for Thursday it’s Washington because Dallas has the easiest schedule to finish the year. Not an easy schedule, because they stink, but easier than the rest. After Thanksgiving they have at Ravens, at Bengals, 49ers, Eagles and at Giants. They will find (hopefully) find a way to win a game or two there.

The Eagle son the other hand, may not win another game this season. Look at this stretch they have coming up.

So as much as it pains us birds fans to give up on this team this year, it’s the right thing to do. This isn’t a team built to make a deep run. This team needs to look at adding real talent. No more guys from colleges that the average person doesn’t know what division they play in. We need guys from the SEC. That would be my new drafting strategy if I were Howie. Clearly things haven’t worked int he draft so for the next 5 year we only draft SEC players. There is an OT from Alabama right now, Alex Leatherwood, first off, bad ass name. Secondly, he’s a beast. He will be a top 4-7 pick. Tank for Leatherwood.

Thank Tank is officially on Eagles fans. Jump aboard.

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