I’m trying something new here and I’m not sure how it’s going to go or where I am even taking this blog at this point…Every Tuesday while I’m scrolling through Twitter all I see are Tweets about the Bachelorette. You honestly don’t realize how many people you follow watch it until your timeline is just filled with all the drama going down.
If you’re coming here for an actual review of the show well then you’re in the wrong place my friend….I have never watched and will probably never watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I’m sure I’m not the only one but it sure does feel like it sometimes.
So I’m here to give people like myself a little bit of help. That way when your friends or your wives/girlfriends or the girl you’re trying to impress start talking about it you’ll be able to chime in. We are gonna start reviewing the show based off the Tweets that I end up seeing on my timeline and strictly Tweets. I will not be watching any episodes or looking up clips. Everything I review will be literally just off of what people tweet.
Full disclosure here we are already five episodes in with tonight being the sixth one. So let’s catch up real quick on everything I’ve learned in the minimal research I’ve done…
1. Clare was the original Bachelorette and apparently shes gone because she fell in love with one of the dudes and I think they are engaged now or something. The guys name was Dale other than that I’ve got nothing on him other than most people seem to think these two are the absolute worst.
2. There’s a new bachelorette and her name is Tayshia. This is her and she’s a smokeshow…
3. I know nothing about any of the dudes but apparently she already really likes this Brendan guy. So I’m gonna assume he’s the favorite.
Alright so now that we’re all caught up let’s see what we gather from tonight’s episode.
So on tonight’s episode it looks like we have someone who is really bad at math but went to Harvard. He should be good at math right? Ladies love an intelligent man so you have to think this Harvard guy is losing some points with Tayshia.
There was a lot of talk about this Bennet guy and not much of it was positive so he seems like a real douchebag. As of now I’m hoping he gets voted off. Well okay I guess they don’t vote off here but lets just say based off a few Tweets he doesn’t deserve a rose.
This Ed guy brought a fake baby with him? I love the move personally, shows that he’s man enough to raise a child and that he is a very responsible adult. True power move by Ed here and he has immediately climbed to the top of my power rankings.
A guy named Chasen, which if that name doesn’t scream out “douchebag frat bro” I don’t know what does thinks he’s the Wolverine? Someone is a little too into halloween and lets face it dude there’s only one Wolverine and its Hugh Jackman thank you very much.
Ed really tried proving a point here as he was holding onto this baby for a pretty long time…
SHOCKER!!! Chasen, who based off some of the earlier Tweets seemed like a real douche decided to pick a fight with Ed. Tayshia has to see this and know right away that Chasen needs to get out of here because if thats how he is going to act around a fake baby one can only imagine what he’d be like around a real one…SMH send this clown home.
Tayshia is already making out with everyone and it’s a bold strategy have to wonder if whoever is the best kisser is going to play into her decision here.
Lets just say I did not know this show is two hours long so this blog is going longer than I wanted/expected…BUT, it looks like we are sending people home tonight and I guess thats exciting. Also Im gonna go out on a limb here and say that Chasen does not get a rose. Ed deserves one based on him bringing a baby and other than those two based off tweets I’ve seen so far I don’t know any of the other guys..
Well I was wrong apparently Chasen got a rose but plot twist he maybe also threatened to murder Ed?!?! I mean Tayshia come on how can you give this guy who seems like a real asshole a rose? Like I’m going based off of tweets here and you actually have hung out with the guy.
I’ll be honest I have no clue what’s going on. I think there was a rose ceremony but I don’t know who didn’t get one. All I know now is something weird is about to go down and I think these dudes are about to wrestle or play dodgeball? I really don’t know.
So apparently this Noah guy had a mustache and shaved it and basically that’s all it took for him to win this episode. So I guess he won the rose ceremony this week if that’s how this works? I really have no clue. So if you’re trying to impress a chick just say “Can you believe Noah shaved and ended up getting the rose.” Boom, now you’re talking to the chick you’ve been trying to impress because you know the bare minimum of the Bachelorette.
So yeah like I said if you came here to get an actual review of the show, you’re in the wrong place. You pretty much just saw a bunch of Tweets and my thoughts on what was going down. But, one things for sure you now have some sort of idea as to what’s going on in this season. Might keep doing this for the rest of the season I might not so stay tuned.
Images-Kelly Keegs Twitter