This Is The Scariest Thing We Have Ever Heard About Bill Belichick

BadGalAli

The worst part of a hangover for me after the age of 27 is the headache that starts at 1pm if I can’t drink coffee because I am too nauseous. I am physically addicted to coffee, so what I’m about to say might not come as a shock to you.

Bill Belichick is not a coffee guy. Hates the stuff. I can’t even imagine Belichick drinking any other liquid besides orange juice at this point. A Nalgene full of water? Sprite from a can? Nothing sounds like something Bill Belichick would drink except day old coffee from a Mr Coffee pot in a communal coaches room.

In the midst of their first losing season in legitimately decades, during a pandemic, after a last second win against the Jets, you just have to respect WEEI getting into the real investigative journalism.

“Look, I mean I understand I am probably missing it, but I just don’t like coffee,” Belichick said.

“I can’t stand the smell of coffee. I don’t like coffee ice cream and I like every sweet that has ever been made. But, that’s not one of them.”

“I don’t like coffee-flavored anything.”

“I just don’t have the taste for it. I’ve tried, but it just doesn’t work for me. My grandmother put a glass of milk and poured like probably a thimble of coffee and I couldn’t even drink that.”

“It’s just one of those things I didn’t develop a taste for. I didn’t develop a taste for scotch either. I tried that. I just couldn’t develop a taste for it,” he added.

“Nothing against coffee. Nothing against Dunkin’ Donuts. Nothing against anything, it’s just not for me.”

First I want to politely thank Bill for specifically granting a pardon to Dunkin Donuts in this attack. Without that comment I could see an FM afternoon show conjuring up an entire segment that Belichick hates Dunkin and is going to retire at the end of the year.

What’s scariest about this admission by Belichick is realizing that this man won 6 Super Bowl rings as a head coach without a sip of coffee. I couldn’t make it through a morning Zoom meeting without one. You mean to tell me Belichick watched years of Terrance Wheatley film without even one K cup?? Coached a team of guys from a 28-3 comeback without an espresso at halftime?? I find that more impressive than finding a loophole in the NFL rulebook to exploit.

aliweitz

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