Deadspin Writer Reminds Twitter That “Snitches Get Stitches”

Chavy

I’ll be honest I wasn’t a blog reader back when Deadspin was in its “glory days” so to me they’re nothing but pretentious assholes who police the internet waiting to complain about anything and everything. Now I won’t sit here and tell you that all of their work is bad (crazy I know!). When they write about the shit WWE has gotten away with (overlooking credible sexual assault allegations and credible allegations from multiple underage boys that they’re top NXT star tried grooming them) I’ll rally behind them. Having said that the rest of what they write is complete dogshit.

Which brings me to Jesse Spector. Yesterday afternoon Jesse sat in his 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment in Astoria wondering how he could prove to G/O Media CEO Jim Spanfeller that he’s a valuable part of the Deadspin Cinematic Universe. Well Jesse I hate to break it to you but ol Jimmy could be taking a piss on you while you’re holding your driver’s license and he still wouldn’t be bothered to figure out who the fuck you are.

Anyways back to yesterday. Jesse spent the entire morning surfing Criterion looking for a movie to retroactively cancel and when that left him blogless he fired up the Twitter app on his iPhone 11 and went shopping for the low hanging fruit. If I went Twitter and grabbed every low hanging fruit (like a fatty on a diet who thinks it’s all about what you eat and not about portion control) sure I’d have an endless supply of blog ideas but none of them would be anything I’d be running home to show mom and dad as I try to prove that forking over $100K in rent a year for my apartment isn’t a “money pit” and that “I’m only one blog away from getting you an ROI”.

For real this time back to yesterday. Spector decided to go after free agent pitcher Trevor Bauer for his Twitter antics. Now I’m not here to STAN Trevor Bauer. As someone who loved having him on my team this year I can understand he’s not everyone’s cup of tea when it comes to his Twitter antics. So Trevor decided to “troll” the Dodgers yesterday during the NLCS much to the disdain of Dodgers fan Megan.

Look if you decide to be an asshole to someone online you can’t act surprised when that comes back at you. If Trevor vanity searched himself and flamed Megan that’s one thing, but Megan took it upon herself to reply to Trevor’s tweet that had nothing to do with her. If I walked up to the biggest baddest biker at a bar and told him “fuck you and your Harley nobody wants you here” and then got my teeth kicked down my throat I think it’s fair to say Jesse Spector wouldn’t type up a blog that says “Off Brand Jax Teller at it again being a drunk asshole”.

Up until this point I still didn’t have a problem with Jesse Spector or the blog he wrote. It was and will always be an irrelevant blog written by an irrelevant writer. The part that I saw where I was like “come on man” was when Jesse tweeted this.

“Snitch tagging” is honestly the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard of. You might as well say “I’m a dweeb who wants the freedom to bash whoever I want on my very public platform without any of the blowback from the person.” And yes I’m sure you can go back and search my Twitter history and find instances of me bashing on something or someone without tagging them, but I wouldn’t pretend I’m Miklo Velka and Twitter is all of the sudden Blood In Blood Out like Jesse Spector did. I’d take my lumps for either a really bad take or wave the white flag and say I was in the wrong.

Now I could copy and paste the entire back and fourth between Jesse and Trevor but I won’t because honestly it got pretty exhausting. However I will post what I decided to say about the entire exchange.

After tweeting this response to Spector I fully expected to find glass in my country gravy and biscuits or be sent a date and time to meet him in the yard for a dual in the form of a threatening message carved into a fellow inmate’s ass. Instead I got this.

Does this make me the king of the prison now? Do I get the finest toilet wine and control of the TV? I don’t know.

But what I do know is that I actually don’t know how to end this blog. I’m too humble to say that I “pwned” Jesse Spector so I’ll refrain from creating a GIF on GIFJIF to commemorate the occasion. I don’t have a call to action for the Branders. I don’t have a pod to plug.

So I’ll just end the blog with this.

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