— br_betting (@br_betting) October 13, 2020
If you found yourself wondering “what idiot placed this kind of bet on a throwaway Monday Night game?” after reading this tweet have no fear because the top betting/investigator guy at Branded Sports (the premier sports betting blog based out of Philadelphia) is on the case.
After doing some hacking into DraftKings.com (wouldn’t have been possible without the half semester of web design I took at community college) I was able to narrow down bets placed late Monday afternoon that involved wagers of over $50K.
Once I was able to narrow down that list I had access to the information of the degenerate gamblers. A lot of them didn’t set off any alarms due to the fact that a simple google search of the last names showed most of these bets were placed by trust fund kids who were placing large bets in hopes of getting a few RT’s from prominent gambling Twitter accounts.
But one name that did stick out to me was “Ihava Lottasex”. Obviously this was a fake name that only a virgin would use so once I was able to cross reference some email addresses to some verified Twitter accounts it all came together. The mystery had been solved.
That pussy slayer Darren Rovell is at it again! I can’t wait to see him top this next week when he tweets his gambling slip showing that he bet through a Yugoslavian site that he took the +200 ML on Tom Brady catching COVID before week 8.
Featured image via USAToday (LINK)https://images.app.goo.gl/jUYnYxwQBhms342x9