BREAKING: Local Fraternity Has Outbreak Told To “Leave Campus Immediately!”

Chavy

Breaking news coming out of Northwest Ohio as a local fraternity (who will remain anonymous due to HIPPA) has been asked to vacate their frat house after testing positive for BRO-VID19.

The chapter’s Vice President was quoted by a local news station as saying “Yeah turns out having a white lie t-shirt party with over 300 people may have been a bad idea in retrospect (RIP Gam Gam) but we got like 200K likes on TikTok and the jungle juice was a hit so I’d say it was worth it.”

After doing some research into BRO-VID19 I found out it’s a new super strain of COVID-19. Symptoms include randomly shotgunning beers, forcing people to do an elephant walk, loss of taste (from HPV), and sore throat (from shouting at the DJ to play Avicii all night).

If you test experience any of these symptoms doctors are asking that you self quarantine for 14 days and making sure to keep a bottle of fireball and a rack of Natty Light handy to help elevate the symptoms.

Featured Image via Total Sorority Move (LINK)

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