I FEEL LIKE DEATH
Saturday night was fun. What started as a casual night of having a Jumbo Marg from the local mexican place turned into drinking games with a few friends (ride the bus, kings, Uno) which again was very lax and then……..
Things took a turn when the liquor came out. Pouring myself shots of S’more flavored moonshine (I almost vomited at my desk typing that out) was a bad idea in retrospect.
I’m 28 years old as of 13 days ago and I’ve slowly come to the realization a “wild night” for me will most likely be a glass of red wine (chased with a bowl of popcorn and the newest Netflix Original movie). At least then I’ll still experience a slight buzz while not having to deal with the 2 day hangover where it feels like I had Mike Tyson use my head as a speed bag.
Sunday morning was spent lying on my couch with the “bubble guts” while playing Tony Hawk’s on my PS2. Finally after a few hours of that I figured it was time to go get my car from my friend’s house (because drinking and driving is for losers). Then I decided to still go and play softball (thank you to Body Armor for keeping me from dying in the outfield (Mike Repole is the modern day Angel in The Outfield).
A lot of people are probably clamoring to hear what my hangover meal is and the truth is I don’t have one. When I’m hungover I go full liquid diet until about 7PM. The thought of putting anything in my body besides water makes me sick when I’m hungover.
So finally I decided to try out the “sleep it off” method and passed out around 7:30 after eating a bowl of popcorn and washing it down with some more Body Armor (not an ad). I woke up multiple times because my dumbass didn’t think to set a sleep timer even though I was laying in bed, stomach full and ready to fall asleep at any moment. Has to be right up there with punting on 4th down in OT and taking the tie when it comes to play calling. I mean the sound of Cartman yelling profanities is funny 99.9% of the time , however when you’re trying to fall asleep and are a light sleeper like myself you find yourself wanting to perform a 469 week post birth abortion on an animated character.
Woke up this morning saw the Bengals won (couldn’t muster up the energy to celebrate), also saw I’m projected to win my first fantasy game of the year (again stoic reaction from yours truly) and I’m currently sitting at my desk going full Rick Dalton with my inner monologue.
Anyways getting old sucks. Have a great Monday Branders! ￼
S. I know my Philly Branders will be in the same boat as me. Congrats on the primetime win! And congrats to those of you who didn’t get arrested celebrating being the NFC East kings!