Philadelphia Let’s Remember The Good Times.

Hey Philly I know you’re down on your luck right now. Between the Phillies missing the playoffs (that’s a clown season bro) and the 76ers…being the 76ers and the Eagles tying a fringe NFL team in the Cincinnati Bengals there’s not a lot to be proud of right now. Sure you could fall back on the fact that you won a Super Bowl all the way back in 2018 or even the fact that Disney painted the city in a positive light with the 2006 movie Invincible (which shows that the city of Brotherly love can’t succeed without their big brother Boston throwing them a lifeline).

But I’m not here to talk about the city of Boston being better at everything that Philly claims to be. Whether it’s championships, food, beer, racism or sports fandom Boston is and always will be the superior city.

Again, I’m not here to kick the city of Philadelphia while they’re down. And judging by the tweets of my fellow Branders yesterday tying my beloved Bengals was the lowest point in quite some time. As someone who’s reached the lowest of the low’s (disrupting my great grandma’s wake to drunkenly rant about how jet fuel cannot melt steel beams) I can relate to the feeling Branders. I’m here to let you know that it’ll only get better from here. Once you reach the low point it’s only uphill from there! You really can’t go any lower (unless the Eagles show up with the same limp dick performance Sunday night in Primetime against the 49ers in a game that will be nationally televised on NBC and embarrass themselves in front of 18.4 million viewers).

Now is the part of the blog where we prop up the city of Philadelphia and show them that there’s still a lot to be proud of. So let’s focus on the positives to end this blog.

The Philly cheesesteak

Also there’s a lot of famous people that done a lot to make the folks of Philly proud!

Wiz Khalifa (up until 2012) was also something to be proud of!

Bill Cosby brought joy to millions across the country and got many kids addicted to jello with his Ironically the “Zip Zop Bippity Bop” catchphrase he shouted during the commercial was what lead to his downfall as it was found out that’s also the same thing he’d shout from the rooftops as he climaxed.

Also there’s world famous DJ Diplo who has represented the city of Philadelphia proud with his constant fight against climate change naysayers (and not the fact he wants people to stare at his dick due to his constant need for validation from the world that his penis isn’t that small).

This is definitely not coming from a place of insecurity because Diplo is jealous that Calvin Harris has a 3rd leg and half in his pants and makes better music.

Anyways Philly keep your head up! In the words of actor Ken Camroux-Taylor as “coach” in Happy Gilmore “Better luck next year!! *laughing*”.

And yes I’m just a simple minded Bengals fan living in Ohio “The armpit of Michigan” and “The Fentanyl capital of the USA” so feel free to make fun of me for that. Or feel free to make fun of me because I ethered the city of Philadelphia while dressed like a middle aged childless aunt who collects stray cats like a drunk Ohio dad collects T’s at his son’s rec league basketball games (although I don’t know who that makes look worse in the long run).

Anyways let’s have ourselves a week Branders!

Featured Image via Amazon (LINK)

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