Eagles’ Linebacker, Duke Riley, Made A Rap Video About Eating Booty Holes

Branded Sports

Easily my favorite headline I’ve ever written. Hands down. I mean how many times do you get the chance to put booty holes in a title? Not many.

I love Duke, he’s a solid linebacker and I’m glad he’s on this team.

Now objectively, the song stinks out loud. It’s just not good and the second guy can’t rap to save his life. He raps the way you do when you’re joking around with your buddies and someone is like ‘hey make up a song about….ummmmm….oh! This banana.’ Thank god Duke is good at football because this music thing wasn’t going to work out.

Also, what is this?

Duke, you’ve made over $3 million so far in your career. Why in the world on you laying on this shitty couch with a dive bar looking ash tray. C’mon man. Time to head on over to Ashley Furniture, they are probably doing some wild sales right now with COVID. You could probably get something really nice at discounted prices. Not to mention their no hassle shipping.

Time to upgrade your living room. No girl is going to let you eat her booty hole on that uncomfortable piece of shit love seat.

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