We Have Figured Out Why The Suns Went 8-0 In The Bubble And It Has Nothing To Do With Basketball

BadGalAli

Since the idea of the bubble started, NBA players had to have been making the most of the outside world–spending time with their families and sneaking in some extra QT with the side chicks.

I can’t imagine the drastic change of going from city to city, club to club and thot to thot to all of a sudden being locked in a standard suite at the Grand Floridian. Probably can’t even get a terrycloth robe to the room on a busy day.

Now imagine the agony if you’re out with your 6 buddies on the reg getting group BJ’s from a Kardashian replica.

The first red flag was that this allegedly happened on this girls birthday over Memorial Day Weekend. Feels like the roles should have been reversed for her own birthday celebration but…to each her own. And unless she specified a year, I think someone took the 6 feet rule a little too literally. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic and we’ve got a BJGB (bj gang bang)??

As the interviewer quickly addressed, my second concern was for Aliza’s physical well-being. The damage something like that has to cause on your gastrointestinal system is unfathomable. Also, aren’t you tired?

According to Aliza she was already in the middle of some consensual intercourse when a group of 7 players from the same team walking in on her and demanded a group dick sucking session. I can’t imagine a better team bonding experience than whipping out your dick in front of the entire backcourt and a few bench players. I can only tell you it’s something D’Angelo Russell will never get the invite to.

Logistically I’m curious how this worked out. Did they start with 7 in the room and then once one was done they left? Talk about an alley oop. If you’re the 7th guy you have to feel a little bad don’t you? That’s a long day of work.

Naturally the internet investigators had to know which team she was talking about, and once it was revealed it explained a lot.

In the bubble, the Suns were the only team to go 8-0 and still not make the playoffs. No one played more fresh and energized than Phoenix. The only problem is going to arise is if Kris Jenner finds out Devin Booker was involved in this oral orgy.

tenor

aliweitz

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