It’s Official: No Thots Allowed In The NBA Bubble


The bubble has been working almost too well for the NBA. There have been consecutive days of no positive tests, the fake crowd noise is not actually that bad, and no one is complaining about the meals anymore. What better way to stay on trend and keep things on the positive side than to start allowing guests!

Just a few days ago Donovan Mitchell was allegedly live streaming while watching porn. I understand that the players association is trying to get the upper hand here but they don’t really have much leverage–these guys are just super horny.

I don’t know how you can expect to get great basketball after locking a group of 7 foot tall, extremely rich athletes in a Disney resort hotel for months without some WAP. This had to have been a dream scenario for most NBA wives. Someone is supervising their husbands 24/7 and they are not physically allowed to leave an enclosed area. I bet Khloe wishes she could bubble up Tristan Thompson.

That’s what makes me think the wives might have had a seat at the table at this negotiation.

The NBA sent out a memo that forced Woj to come up with a creative strategy for tweeting that Instagram thots are on the no fly list for the Orlando bubble.

Here’s what I would like to know.

Is this a 90 Day Fiance situation for getting a bubble pass? Whose job is it to screen the guests before allowing them in and how do I get hired for the role? This sounds like my dream job. Searching through social media posts for the minimum required dedicated IG posts to be considered “established longstanding personal friends”. I bet they need at least 5 birthday/Valentine’s Day/anniversary posts. Any couples memorabilia helps, a few inside jokes…

Some baby mamas will probably apply anyways, just to see if they can get a pass in such desperate times. But the Instagram thots are going to have to be really savvy to sneak around this time.

Not to say it cannot or will not be done–like if Kendall wants in she’s in. Katya Elise Henry is getting approved on someone’s list. You want to make the bubble even better? There should be a certain handful of verified Instagram thots allowed and a reality show about finding love in the bubble. Bubbles of Love? The Love Bubble? The possibilities are endless.


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