An Athlete’s Introduction to Sex

Echo Seiersen

Hi, my name is Echo. 

Yes, that’s my real name. No, the joke you’re thinking about right now is not funny. 

The first thing I want to share in this introduction is my extensive sports experience. As a former elementary school athlete, I have the perfect background for Branded Sports. During my two-season basketball career, I was lucky enough to make a single basket. Watching that basketball roll across the backboard and, by chance, land in the basket was a victorious moment for me, one I never forgot. 

Some have said that I was a born athlete, and I’ve been pursuing athletic endeavors ever since that fateful basket was made. For example, I was kicked out of my childhood ballet class for lack of rhythm/general skill, viciously struck in the eye trying to catch a softball when I was in middle school, nearly trampled while horseback riding thanks to a dead squirrel in the road, and I even spent a couple of years as a high school cheerleader holding up all of the actual hot girls at JV football games. Still, my greatest athletic achievement thus far has been the steamy summer day that I shot a hole-in-one at a nine-hole course and received a trophy and my name in the local newspaper. 

So, clearly, sports is and always has been a passion of mine. Still, somehow, my athletic background is not why I was asked to join you all here at Branded. Instead, it’s the super shitty sex podcast I host with my best friend, Annmarie. 

We have been best friends for more than a decade now, but we decided to start a raunchy podcast earlier this year where we discuss human sexuality in all its gross and glorious details. From helping girls learn how to give a proper sloppy blowjob to providing legitimate sexual health resources, we spend a lot of time talking about dick. But, we also touch on other aspects of our lives, like our struggles with mental illness and our various childhood traumas. This attempt to encompass the many multitudes that women contain has been previously referenced as “dick shriveling” but, nevertheless, we persist. 

Our main goal when starting THE ROSTER was to laugh and make other people laugh. Secondary to that by a very small margin was our desire to create conversations that make both men and women feel more comfortable exploring and discussing the things that make them feel shame, inside and outside of the bedroom. This is my true passion: making people laugh and helping them to grow, simultaneously. 

Unfortunately, my professional basketball career (which was very clearly projected to be history-making) was cut short at 23 years old when I developed multiple chronic illnesses that limited my mobility. That’s another reason the topic of sex has been so salient to me; I was restricted from using my body the way that I wanted to for so long, and there is no amount of slut shaming in the world that could convince me having as much sex as I possibly can while I can is a bad thing. As one of our listeners so perfectly articulated, I hoe with a purpose. 

There are other, simpler things you might be interested in knowing about me: I’m a Pisces, I have three post-secondary degrees, two cats, eight vibrators, and eleven siblings. My favorite hobbies are playing Sims, writing poetry, getting drunk with my best friend, and never leaving my house. My favorite sports teams are decided solely by how much I enjoy looking at the players sweat. 

Ultimately, I’m just a dumbass twenty-something, with a lot to say and very little shame. 

Listen to THE ROSTER every Tuesday & Friday! @rosterpodcast 

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