The Teams That Could Ruin The Major League Baseball Season For Us..


We are finally getting one of the four major sports back this week.  America’s past time… Baseball.  I didn’t think it was going to happen when the MLB and MLBPA were not coming to an agreement on money, but they “did” and it is.  Teams have been in “Summer Camp” for a few weeks now, we have been seeing intra-squad games televised, and actual team vs team exhibition games the past few days.

But starting on Thursday we will have actual red blooded American baseball back.  Opening Day of the 2020 shitshow 60 game season.  Cole and Scherzer take the mound (with their own rosin bags) when the Yanks take on the Nats in DC.  I mean does it get much better?  All is starting to be right again.  WE ARE HEALING!  What could go wrong?

…And that got me to thinking.

Just because baseball is starting, does that mean its going to finish like we all hope?  With a World Series.  Sure a 60 game schedule sounds like a piece of cake, like a quick sprint.  But to be basically isolated it will might feel like 600 games.  And, if you are isolated on a shitty team getting your teeth kicked in every day it might feel like 6000 games.  And… That worries me.

What if the shitty MLB teams just stop caring?  What if the older veterans players on teams losing day after day just say screw it with the protocols?  I mean if you were 40 games into a 60 game schedule, your team is 10-30 and your batting .187 all while being isolated, would you care anymore?

This could put the whole god damn season at risk.  If this happens it could be an absolute nightmare.  We have been without real sports for months now, if baseball just canceled before it really started, yes it would suck but I think I could live with it.  BUT if baseball started and gets into the schedule and then has to cancel because of some assholes not doing what they are supposed to… I couldn’t handle that.

So, just for fun I am going to pick one team in each division who I think is going to stink out loud this season and who could put the whole station at risk! (let me know if you get that reference.)

Let us start in the AL..


Baltimore Orioles

I think the Yankees hit a billion homeruns against the O’s last season.  It isn’t even a major league team, they might not be able to compete at the double A level this season.  If the O’s start the season with like 5 wins in 25 games and Chris Davis is batting 1.21 with 48 strikeouts you know that dude is mentally checking out and there is zero chance he stays in his “bubble.”


Detroit Tigers

I mean, imagine how excited you are to play major league baseball, and then you have to play in Detroit.  Honestly, if we went to Detroit right now could we find 3 people who could name a player besides Miguel Cabrera?  Detroit does not scream baseball town.  The team stinks.  The fans don’t care.  Why in the hell are these dudes going to want to get their heads bashed in every night while continuing to isolate with a negative chance to win a World Series?  Don’t you screw us Detroit..


Seattle Mariners

There is only one man that could save the Mariners from ruining everything for us this season… Ichiro.  The Mariners could be 0-59 heading into the last game of the season and you know that dude would still be isolated and bring it all to try and win 1, even now when he’s like 68 years old.  But, I mean the Mariners have no chance to make real noise this year, and again why would those players continue to do things the right way while losing every day.  (Yeah, yeah I know because they are professionals… OK!)

On to the NL…


Miami Marlins

Florida is always gonna Florida.  The team has absolutely NO SHOT to win the division.  They play in Florida that currently is the COVID Capital of the world.  And, in a city that has temptation at every corner.  Get this team down early in the season (which they will be) and watch out for dudes just starting to wildin’ out and bringing baseball to it’s knees.


Pittsburgh Pirates

I know what you were thinking, gotta be the Reds right? Nope, that team has a legit chance to compete this season.  But, the Pirates on the other hand should not.  And… There are rumors that the Blue Jays may share PNC Park with the Pirates as their home stadium since ya know Canada said no to playing in Toronto.  The Blue Jays shouldn’t stink, so imagine the Blue Jays playing better in Pittsburgh than the Pirates.. The Pirates will fold like a cheap table and that will be that.


San Diego Padres (Seals)

Now, if they had been renamed the San Diego Seals as CEO Joe has suggested I would not pick them.  But, they are still the Padres and they still stink.  They paid a zillion dollars for Machado and I think he hit 4 homeruns last season.  They live in perfect weather, not a bad place to be “locked down” in.  So, why would they want to keep traveling AWAY from beautiful San Diego to keep losing?  I mean, this one may even be accidental, sometimes when the weather is that nice your brain just wonders and forgets about shit like social distancing.

I am not saying any one of these teams are for sure going to break safety protocols and ruin the season.  BUT, if it happens I would put money down that it was one of these teams that ruin it all for all of us.

Keep your shit together and prove me wrong please, because we need baseball, we need October and we need a god damn World Series to make us feel human again.


Feature Image – USA Today

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