First off I’d like to apologize to the Branders for not putting my nose down to my laptop this week and blogging my balls off. I’m working on some other cool content that will hopefully be ready in the next couple of weeks that has taken up a lot of the time that I put aside for blogging.
Anyways, my girlfriend and I have an even 50/50 split on who controls the Roku remote in our apartment and considering we have almost the exact same taste in shows and movies we rarely argue or complain when one of us picks out something to watch. Although I’d be lying if she didn’t let out a huge sigh when I flip the channel to Unsolved Mysteries reruns or AEW wrestling.
But for the most part any show I’ve watched with her I’ve usually found myself a fan of (and with some shows I’ve even floated into STAN territory). Whether that is me actually enjoying the shows or me just being a good boyfriend is up to you to decide after reading the power rankings. So now let’s power rank the shows my girlfriend makes me watch!
5. Love is Blind (Netflix)
This show was simply too much cringe for me to handle. The premise was cheesy enough that I thought I’d be laughing at everyone who decided to be on the show, but anytime Mark and Jessica interacted I found myself clenching a pillow to my face begging my girlfriend to make it stop. Add in the fact that Carlton was very clearly having some mental issues from being a closeted bi sexual man that he projected onto Diamond this show was just too much cringe for me to laugh at. Not a fun watch at all.
4. Supermarket Stakeout (Food Network)
Simply put, this show fucks. A Supermarket Sweep/Chopped hyrbid? Hell yeah brother. I love the craziness behind it. Watching the chefs try to outbid each other for groceries is kind of like watching horny dudes at the strip club compete for their favorite dancer to go back to the VIP room. This is probably the most mind numbing show and one that I’m most likely to kick back and enjoy for hours on end. But what’s keeping this show down at the 4 spot when I’m giving it a glowing review? The host. She fucking sucks! I don’t know why but she’s always a dick to the contestants and I’m always hoping that one of the contestants goes rogue and just whips an egg at her when she sarcastically runs down their meal. I’d be on board with her sarcasm if it was even remotely funny, but it ain’t and she isn’t no Gordon Ramsey.
3. RuPaul’s Drag Race (VH1)
Admittedly this show is the most recent one I watched with her so there may be some recency bias but I really enjoyed the show. I don’t know if it was my lack of knowing anything about the drag queen scene but it felt like a learning experience for me and I think that’s part of why I enjoyed it. Seeing the work that goes into the each performance I had no choice but to respect the hustle as a fellow performer. I’d kill for the kind of confidence these queens have on a stage. Also who doesn’t love a little cutthroat action sprinkled in as well? I love the back and fourth that was going on between the performers. Not a single fuck is given and every word is thrown out with the intention of stabbing right in the heart. That’s a recipe for must watch TV.
2) Four Weddings (TLC)
This show is living proof of why I would have the biggest scaries if I’m a girl and planning my wedding. You have 3 other brides doing their best to make sure they find something wrong with your wedding day. Whether it’s the dress, weather, food, drinks, location they’ll find anything to criticize and the worst part of it is it’s immortalized on national TV. I guess before I go any further with this I should explain the show to the unaware. This show has 4 brides agree to let each other judge their weddings and rate them with the winner getting their honeymoon for free. As I said before sometimes the women are hard pressed to find something wrong and end up nitpicking the smallest thing so they can rationalize giving the wedding a 6/10 rating. Perfect example “I had a fun time at Angie’s wedding, but the dancing was a little PG-13 so I’m giving it a 4/10.” Other times the weddings are so bad that the other brides have no choice but to give a few extra points to the bride just for the sake of her mental health. I’m also a fan of the stock music they put in over the wedding receptions, it’s so bad and makes the dancing look that much more bad.
1) 90 Day Fiancé (TLC)
Ah my first love. This show was the first one my girlfriend subjected me to when we first started dating and your first always has a special place in your heart. I still remember the confused look I gave her when she elevator pitched me on the show. International couples have 90 days to get married and 100% of the time they usually have some huge hurdle to overcome whether that be a language barrier or a life shattering secret (usually that one of them is still technically married). Now some 365 days later I’m a full blown STAN. I bought my girlfriend a cameo from her favorite couple for her birthday, I joined (and was eventually banned from) the official subreddit, I follow a couple gossip accounts for the show, and I dedicate two nights a week to watching new episodes. And you know what I wouldn’t change a thing.
So to my Branders who may find themselves watching any of these shows the next time their significant other has control of the remote, just know that you’ll probably enjoy them. Trust me.