Phillies Fan Preparing To Mail Matt Klentak A Gigantic Dick


Reddit: “If the Phillies front office let JT Realmuto walk, I will send Klentak a gigantic dick poster.

Mods delete if not allowed.

I’m fed up. We got the best catcher in baseball and our stupid front office wants to be the Wolf of Pattison Ave and play hardball (zero fucking pun intended). Guess what Klentak, you’re an idiot and you’ll have some redeeming qualities if you give JT a god damned contract.

Now let’s talk about this dick. I have a large scale printer that can make posters up to 32 inches wide and as long as the roll can go. I’ll make a Microsoft Paint schlong, as I feel that sending a real dick picture may end in a fine or jail time. And if you can mail someone a bag of dicks ( then I think this won’t land me a fine.

Tagging this as a meme because our front office is a fucking meme.

Go Phils.”

Phillies reddit man, have to love it. Latest news coming out today about the possible JT Realmuto signing, not great. Sounds like the team is leaning towards letting him hit free agency and sign him at that time. A very risky play seeing as you have basically been disrespecting him since he got here. Also there are, ya know, all the other teams in the league that would love to have the best player at his position. With baseball economics all out of whack maybe they are scared to put that much money into one guy. Ok fine. I disagree but I can at least understand that.

But, if that is the case than you have to trade him. Get a huge return for him and just cut your losses. You’re going to piss off the fans and your franchise player but it doesn’t seem like Mat cares about that.

That is going to come with some consequences though. One gigantic one it seems like. This already fed up fella is going to buy the biggest roll of paper he can and let Matt feel the girth of his anger. I just keep imagining him opening his mail like that scene from Super Bad where the lunchbox opens up and it’s all kinds of drawn dicks. Matt Klentak’s entire desk is just covered in big vainy hand drawn hate dicks.

Maybe this is enough to change his mind. If any of you knows Matt, please let him know that winter is coming, in the form of a gigantic cock and balls.

Go Phils

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