We’ve taken a deep dive and immersed ourselves in cancel culture these past few weeks and there is no way out. Chris D’Elia got cancelled (probably rightfully so). Barstool and Dave Portnoy got cancelled but only kind of not really. Even the entire damn Minneapolis Police Department got cancelled. They just flat out got rid of police I think.
So I am throwing my hat in the ring for things that need to be cancelled. I am OFFICIALLY cancelling the Dallas Cowboys as America’s Team.
You’re celebrating the Declaration of Independence today. They write that shit in Dallas, Texas? HELL NO.
Right here in the beautiful city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania they wrote the document that gave us life as a new country. Then, when we blew the doors off the British in the Revolutionary War, come 1790 you know who took over as capital of the country? Philadelphia.
That’s not enough for ya to showcase that Philadelphia is the beating heart of the greatest country on Earth? Then how about the fact that there isn’t anything more American than a Bald Eagle, the national bird of the US of A.
The Dallas Cowboys are called “America’s Team” because our parents only had three television channels in the 70’s and the Cowboys just so happened to be on all the time since it was their heyday. They’ve done nothing historically significant to earn the title as the official team of America and we should no longer want to be misrepresented like that.
The nicest thing I can say about the great history of Dallas is that it’s somewhat close to Waco, which was an alright Netflix show. Pretty good, but not even Top 5 as far as Netflix originals go.
So in conclusion, when you are celebrating the birth of this great country today, think about what got us here. The American flag created by Betsy Ross, from Philadelphia. The brave men who put quill to parchment on the Declaration of Independence, in Philadelphia. The most powerful symbol of justice in freedom in our country is the Liberty Bell, located in Philadelphia.
Happy 4th of July, from America’s greatest, most historic city: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. And definitely NOT Dallas, Texas.