Raise your hand if you’ve made out with someone in a bar.
Now raise your hand if you’ve ever made out with someone in a (dirty) bar bathroom and decided to take a picture of said make out sesh and post it to social media.
Well that’s exactly what these two drunken lovebirds decided to do and now I need some eye bleach.
This isn’t some college bar bathroom and these aren’t two premed students having a little fun during Thirsty Thursday. This is your hometown dive bar, it’s a Tuesday night, these are the two people who have 3 kids together and fight constantly on Facebook one day and profess they’re love for each other the next. They’re the couple that actually uses the “it’s complicated with (insert name here)” relationship status on Facebook.
I just wonder if this was a pre planned photo op by the girl or was this a spur of the moment idea? Perhaps this photo will be edited with a bunch of fire emojis with some Sons of Anarchy quote (misquoted obviously) written in comic sans font. Or maybe we can assume based on the male’s hand placement that this will be posted unedited with the caption “Grabbing my ass and my heart 💯” and then her cousin comments that he just slid in her DM’s propositioning her to fuck for Mountain Dew and a pack of Marlboro Reds. The lovely couple then proceed to have a very public and nasty fight in the comments, and then I pop some Orville Redenbacher, kick my feet up and enjoy the carnage.
For all the gamblers out there looking to get their fix, what’s the over/under on how many times this couple has broke up? ￼5? 7?
Also contrary to the blog title this is not “Couple’s Goals”. I’ll stick to passing out at 9:30 on a Friday night while watching whatever new movie my girlfriend (sick brag) wants to watch on Netflix 1000% of the time.
P.S. Plz follow me on Twitter (@AgentChavyScarn)so I can reach my goal of 500 followers so my mom will send me to space camp.
The Notebook image via Wallpaper Central (LINK)
Mean Girls GIF via Giphy (LINK)
Trashy make out sesh image via Reddit (LINK)
Remember The a Titans Gif via Tenor (LINK)