Yes I have compared my *checks little black book* HUNDREDS of sexual partners with what I watch in porn. Recently I went to an open house and when the 72 year old realtor answered the door I asked her if I could see the downstairs *wink wink* and she politely (but firmly) asked me to leave. The BAD BOY OF HENRY COUNTY STRIKES AGAIN!
*I’m 14 years old and just watched a Brandi Love scene and now I am in love with older big titty’d MILFS. How do I ask my friend Todd’s mom if she’s “down”? Oh yeah I have a girlfriend now but she is cool with this because she doesn’t even know what MILF means.
I fixed that post for ya king.
Yes everyone regardless of gender has had that moment where their horniness overtook them and they had an out of body experience where they’re watching themselves bang someone they probably shouldn’t have. So the next time Kyle or Kylie give you shit for banging someone that could’ve been a left tackle for the Eagles just dirt off that shoulder.
“Oh honey you’re convulsing from the orgasm? You can’t control your body and this may have triggered a serious undisclosed medical condition? I better pull out my phone….and ask Reddit what I should do!”
A lot of people will say the degrading may be the answer to spice things up but obviously that’s not what you want to do. You’re about being hot and building your partner up so we will call an audible here. New time you’re having sex go ahead and go straight missionary, look them right in the eye, and whisper softly “UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” oh goddammit you came…..moment ruined.
This was a condensed version of the blog this week because I forgot to write it last week. Expect a full version of me answering the questions I was never asked on Friday!
Header image via Shutterstock (LINK)