BEFORE READING THIS BLOG CHECK OUT CHAVY’S COMEDY MINUTE (LINK)
Okay now back to your regularly scheduled blog.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Branders and the city of Philadelphia since I’ve started writing for the best sports humor blog in the land, it’s that you guys fucking hate the Cowboys. I’ll be honest I’m not that familiar with who hates who in the NFC East so I felt like the nervous new kid at school…until I found out we (the Branders and myself) shared a common enemy (the Dallas Cowboys) that we could mercilessly bully. Finding out we shared a mutual hatred for “America’s team” was a lot like when I was finally comfortable enough to fart in front of my girlfriend, just a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.
So when I was scrolling the “for you” page on TikTok I came across this video that’ll serve as great ammunition the next time some asshole Cowboys fan tries pulling rank.
Hard to argue the facts there Mr Jerry Jones. Your team is a shadow of itself and the last time you had any relevance was when your current (probably gone after this season) QB was suckin on his mom’s teet and shitting his Pampers.
Also on a semi related note I’m kind of concerned that at the amount of Philly content being shown on my Tik Tok page because I live in Ohio so the fact this app knows I write for a Philly site is a little alarming. As long Tik Tok doesn’t dig into my iCloud and find my album “Buffalo Bill Goodbye Horses Tribute” I’ll be alright.
Oh yeah and fuck the COWBOYS! Have fun going 8-8 this year with McCarthy you fucking simps!
If you ever want to discuss how lame the Cowboys are DM me on Twitter @AgentChavyScarn and we’ll talk some shop over a few Busch Lights.
Featured Image via Meme Generator (LINK)
Tik Tok via kyle_carberry (LINK)