They Absolutely Have To Make NBA Teams Bring Their Own Hardwood Floors To Games In Disney

BadGalAli

We’re at such an unsure time with the return of sports, people are just throwing around some ideas for an entertaining product.  With no fans and all teams playing in the same location we need to bump up the stakes a little bit for the teams that were rightfully robbed by the stoppage due to coronavirus like randomly for example the Lakers.

And so in a Hail Mary, some teams are trying to invent a way to exchange the home-court advantage they lost for an alternative edge in Orlando.

Some of the scenarios discussed, sources told ESPN, include:

  • The higher-seeded team being awarded the first possession of the second, third and fourth quarters, following the traditional jump ball to begin the game.
  • The higher-seeded team being allowed to designate one player to be able to be whistled for seven fouls instead of six before fouling out.
  • The higher-seeded team receiving an extra coach’s challenge.
  • The higher-seeded teams being able to transport their actual hardwood home court from their arenas to Orlando to try to preserve the feel of their home playing experience.
  • An off-court feature in which playoff teams, in order of seeding 1-16, receive first choice on picking which hotel they will stay at in the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex and Disney World Resort. ESPN is owned by the Walt Disney Co.

This looks just like a whiteboard at any start up company trying to brainstorm for a new product launch. Everyone starts with the generic, obvious ideas like “hey what if they get the ball a few more times” and then after a few IPAs the 23 year old marketing manager is like “Yo man what if we literally make it a home court advantage. Like bring your own floors!!!”. The whole office cheers and sends the presentation out to meet the deadline.

To be honest I think I’d rather BYOF than give James Harden an extra foul. Transporting and installing an entire basketball court every few days would give a lot of people jobs, and frankly something to do.

Plus who doesn’t get a little turned on for a time lapse installation video.

Come on, that would do numbers on Tik Tok. Think about the Celtics setting up the parquet floors in Orlando every 3 days.

The choosing your hotel thing probably fun in theory but who decides the team choice? Would the players have to unanimously vote on what hotel? You can’t be the guy who is really pushing for one hotel choice. Who the fuck cares. I can see Kyle Lowry holding out  for Animal Kingdom though. Dame certainly isn’t going to play if he has to stay at the Coronado Springs.

We could use a magic floor storyline in Disney though. A cinderella team to dominate but only when playing on their own floor. A real Disney Channel original.

aliweitz

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