As a longtime UFC I’ve seen my fair share of hilarious things in the sport. The Ultimate Fighter Team Hughes vs Team Serra is what lured me away from the being a WWE fan to a “Just Bleed, TapOut, Face The Pain” UFC fan. While that season was pretty tame in retrospect, the following season (Team Mir vs Team Noguiera) made up for the lack of shenanigans and even had some left to spare.
The 2008 season of the show had Junie “just bang anytime anywhere fuck weight classes” Browning challenging everyone on the show to fight at some point during his drunken benders. And while he was a drunk douchebag and had no right being on the show, we can’t argue the fact that keeping him around was a no brainer for ratings, also add in the fact that his presence lead to this all time Dana White quote and I think we can all say we’re glad he stuck around.
Along side Junie there was another wild card in the house and his name was”Diamond” Dave Kaplan.
Kaplan was just as much of a wild card as Junie, but in a goofy lovable way. Kaplan’s shenanigans are cheeky and fun! Junie’s shenanigans are cruel and tragic. Which… makes them not really shenanigans at all. Evil shenanigans!
One of Kaplan’s most memorable shenanigans is probably letting Tom Lawlor get a free shot on him after claiming nobody in The Ultimate Fighter house could KO him. I’ve provided the video evidence below for you, the Brander to decide whether or not he was KO’d.
But what a lot of people may not remember is that Diamond Dave was also the man who ate semen, I repeat, SEMEN covered sushi. The episode (appropriately titled “Splushi”) was when the food stealing in the house had come to a head and people were taking drastic measures to ensure nobody’s food was stolen again. What started as something simple as pissing in your own fruit tray and putting it back into the fridge quickly got even more out of hand when someone (their name slips my mind currently) was tired of having their sushi stolen so they had teammate Kyle Kingsbury jerk off, I repeat THEY HAD KYLE KINGSBURY JERK OFF INTO THEIR SUSHI, leaving a special sauce for the the sushi bandit. Who was the sushi bandit? Diamond Dave Kaplan. The look on his face when told the sushi had jizz in it was that of a man going through a wide range of emotions, while maintaining a “stoic dumb face” the entire time. I can honestly say that in my all years of watching reality TV I have not felt as bad for someone than I did for him at that moment.
Even though the dude was dumb as a door nail he was one of the nicer guys on the show. He was eliminated from the completion early on in the show and was just looking for something to eat and happened to grab some sushi that wasn’t his to fill his stomach. Unfortunately he was caught in the crossfire of a brutal bodily fluids food prank war and was just a casualty of war.
Diamond Dave didn’t have much luck post splushi. He had went 0-2 in the UFC and was quickly released afterwards, forever to be known as the semen sushi eater. Dave shouldn’t be ashamed of swallowing a little semen, people like Chris Pontius, Abella Danger and Kim Kardashian have shown that swallowing a bit of jizz can be a career booster.
If you’d like to check out the Splushi episode and witness this craziness for yourself you’ll have to get UFC Fight Pass and this could be the nostalgia in me but I do remember this being an all time episode so the $9.99 price tag is definitely worth it.
Header image via Pandora (LINK)
KO GIF via Sherdog (LINK)
Dave Kaplan image via The Fighter’s Hub (LINK)
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